Serendipity
by shootingstar1130
Summary: I had the picture perfect life. A fiancé I was marrying in three months, a surplus of friends and family, a great job which I actually enjoyed. However, there was only one man who I knew had the potential to change everything, to uproot all of my plans, and I was on a plane getting ready to spend three days with him. AU Captain Swan. NOW COMPLETE with a surprise ending!
1. Chapter 1

**Serendipity**

Summary: I had the picture perfect life. A fiancé I was marrying in three months, a surplus of friends and family, a great job which I actually enjoyed. However, there was only one man who I knew had the potential to change everything, to uproot all of my plans, and I was on a plane getting ready to spend three days with him.

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Chapter One: His Drunk Girlfriend

 _His girlfriend was drunk at my fiancé and I's house. How's that for the start of a story? It took me four years to get him to hang out with me outside of work. Four years of getting to know each other, constantly bantering, dare I say flirting for forty plus hours a week. It was a recipe for disaster: having a guy over your new house you bought with your fiancé that you've had a secret crush on for years. Crush was putting it lightly too. It was more a connection, an undeniable attraction and draw towards one another. Strong as gravity and dangerous as the vodka I'd creatively shoved down his girlfriend's throat. So why invite them over? Why tempt fate and complicate my already complicated life? Simply because I couldn't not. I couldn't deny this constant pull towards this man I could never have. A man I could communicate without words with, who could read me like an open book, who challenged me and made me want to be a better person._

 _Killian Jones. That was his name and a strong name at that. He had been my boss on and off again for the last four years. We worked at a corporate hardware store called Cal's Hardware. The details of how we met and how we drew closer are bound to come up at another time, but we can safely say we were close, some (our significant others in particular) would probably say we were too close._

 _However, now his girlfriend of over six years was drunk at my house. One hundred percent...my fault. I'd like to say I accomplished this task because I wanted her to have a good time and feel welcomed in my home. However, the truth, which I would never admit outloud was I wanted her to stay, to be distracted and bond with me therefore I'd be able to hang out again with them...okay with Killian._

 _So a group of us coworkers are out in front of my house talking. Killian's girlfriend Milah was drunkenly babbling. She was bragging to us about how she's our boss' girlfriend. Then it happens. She accidently drunkenly smashes one of my new wine glasses. Glass is everywhere on my front porch. Luckily (come on now I'm not a completely terrible person) she wasn't hurt. I assure her it's no big deal, honestly I'm more then a little amused, and tell the group I am going to grab a broom. I open my front door and hear Killian say he is coming with me. I'm more then a little surprised but I don't show it._

 _We enter my empty house and head for the stairs. My fiancé, friends and family members are all in the backyard having a good time. As we travel up the stairs I realize that this is the first time we've been alone together tonight. Sure we played lawn games in my backyard while standing next to each other, toning down the flirtations but this was the first time it was just the two of us without the prying eyes of others._

 _I also notice as we walk up the stairs that it was very quiet in my house, which was actually kind of nice after being with all of my rambunctious and crazy friends all day. My fiancé Walsh and I had just finished remodeling the house after many crazy months of work. We had our family come over at two in the afternoon and now at almost midnight our friends had shown up and the party was going strong._

 _As we turn left to walk into my spare bedroom where I kept the broom I hear Killian say "I'm sorry." His voice is much quieter then normal and as we enter the bedroom I finally turn and lock eyes with him. His eyes are deep blue and staring intently at me. I feel the familiar warmth of attraction spread through me as I look upon his face. He is so handsome. His dark hair is positioned just right and his tan flawless skin only helps bring out his bright eyes, and his eyes are where some of our most meaningful conversations occur. Whether they are sparkling with laughter or deeper and intense with attraction, and right now even under his slightly apologetic face I see the attraction. I usually revel in it, I never think to much of it because my heart knows that he couldn't possibly feel the same way about me as I feel about him. Even after all we've been through. The years of conversations about anything and everything. The hours on end at work getting to know each other and working close together on a daily basis. He's too put together to feel the same way. He's had the same girlfriend for over six years and has helped her raise her daughter._

 _However, in this quiet room, all alone, his eyes are more intense then normal. I see his thoughts going a mile a minute through his head and wish I had the guts to ask him what was on his mind. I turn slightly to locate the broom. Usually I would egg him on, flirt shamelessly with him, maybe even move closer to him to test his reaction. But this time it's too real and I knew I couldn't handle the rejection that was bound to occur. Based on the number of drinks I had drank I'm sure my reaction would be written all over my face. I mean what did I think was going to happen? That he would kiss me passionately? Start making out with me and move us to the futon in the corner of the room? His girlfriend was right downstairs and my fiancé was right outside._

 _I immediately feel my skin begin to get blotchy, he's the only one to have this effect on me. It's the only thing that gives away my strong attraction to him. My chest breaks out in red dots and my skin turns red. I'm not a big blusher but Killian Jones sets my whole body on fire. I'm sure even in the dimly lite room my spaghetti strap teal dress is doing nothing to hide my reaction to him._

 _I grab the broom, try to collect myself, and turn to look back at him. He is still staring intently at me and then he takes a step forward. In an instant my heart beat quadruples, I know my palms are sweaty and my mind completely blanks out, but I can't turn away. I see him lift his left hand up out of the corner of my eye and move it towards me. The movement only takes a second but the moment goes on much longer in my head. I couldn't believe after all this time that he was finally stepping towards me, that the passion that we've been constantly denying was going to get played out. I knew there was no way I would be able to stop what was about to happen, and I didn't want to. My body and mind was on fire with want and need. Then I heard a rattle to my right. He holds out the dust pan in front of him and finally breaks eye contact as he walks out the door._

The plane jerks which tears me back from my flashback. That was a year and a half ago and I still remember it like it was yesterday. I still can't believe how foolish I had been to think he was going to kiss me. When he had left my house that night giving me a one armed hug after his girlfriend had given me a full body hug telling me how much she enjoyed hanging out with me, I watched him walk down the street to his truck full of jealousy, I knew she would go home and have sex with him and get to fall asleep in his arms. I knew I had no right to think this way, seeing as I would be sleeping with my fiancé but I couldn't help the reaction I had to them walking down the street together away from me.

I had to snap out of these thoughts though, I was getting married in three months! I had just paid my photographer five hundred dollars last week. I had barely spoken to Killian since he got promoted to a district manager and torn from our store. Sure I had called him a couple days ago and talked to him for an hour like old times but that was only because I was nervous about going to my first manager's conference since I had recently gotten promoted as well. On the outside I may look like I was nervous about the flight (which was partly true because I don't like flying) or about our first meetings, but on the inside I knew I was nervous about spending three days unsupervised with Killian Jones. It was the first time we'd be together without our significant others or coworkers watching our every move. Sure there would be four thousand other people at the conference but in a room full of others I knew only one of them mattered. Only one of them had somehow over the course of the last six years wormed their way into my heart.

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Thoughts? This story wouldn't get out of my head and it's very near and dear to me. Hope you enjoy! Not sure how long it'll be but I should update at least once a week!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: Preparation**

 _I was walking into work. It was a beautiful summer day in southern Michigan. It was eight-o-clock Sunday night and usually I would be out hanging out with one of my many friends or my new boyfriend. However, this Sunday I was going into work for a work meeting._

 _I was a cashier at the local hardware store. I had started working there at sixteen while finishing high school and three years later I was still working there while attending college. I had went away to school a few hours away for my first two years of college but now upon entering my third year I had transferred back home. I claimed it was to save money and be closer to my family, and although there was truth in that reason another reason I was moving home was because of my boyfriend Walsh. We had been dating for a year and a half year. We met at a club right after I turned eighteen. Our relationship started fast and I had just come off a heartbreak but I fell head over heels for Walsh. He was the first guy I felt safe with, the first guy I truly trusted to be around for the long run. We had actually gone to high school together but we didn't know each other. I cared for him deeply and he was the first man I gave my body to completely._

 _However, at this moment I wasn't thinking about that. I was wondering why the hell all fifty of our employees had been summoned to have a store meeting. Not that I minded since I had developed some amazing relationships with my coworkers. I walked up to the store and hugged a few of them in greeting._

" _What the hell is going on do you think?" My good friend Ruby asked appearing in front of me right outside the building's doors. Ruby was a few years younger than me and while I was blonde she was brunette. We instantly clicked as soon as she started working with me. We found ourselves becoming closer as we continuously gossiped about the work drama. She was a great person and a very supportive friend. She was always ready and willing to go out and have a good time and never judged me for any decision I ever made._

" _Who knows, it's so nice out we really should have this meeting outside." I replied as we walked into the crowded store._

 _Walking into the store was like walking into another world. The drama and bonds that were formed inside the four walls of the store were unexplainable to anyone who wasn't a part of it._

 _I had spent the last few years making many memories inside these four walls. I had actively dated a few of the employees and even managed to end up in jail with one of them after one of our crazy party nights. I was young and a complete flirt. Although I had toned it down a bit since I started dating Walsh._

" _Okay everyone have a seat," the owner of the store said loudly from the front of the store. There were chairs placed by the registers however I bounced up and sat on one of the counters next to Ruby._

 _I looked around briefly. These were so many people here that had affected my life. Granny had taught me everything I knew. I had had some form of conversation with everyone in the room. Although the store went through many employees (hell my brother David had worked with me for a bit even). The ones that remained, the ones that toughed out the annoying crowds and pesky customers, those employees held a high amount of respect and care for one another._

" _I know there will be a lot of questions so I'll keep this explanation short and sweet. I am retiring and selling our store to the Cal's Hardware chain. Now before you all freak out, everyone's job is secure. You know Cal's have been around for a while and they have eighty stores in our area. We will merge with them and try to make it as effortless as possible. This will require a great deal of training and faith. Now while I won't be here to supervise I want you each to know that I wouldn't have given up this great store to anybody. I know Cal's will take care of this store and each of you. I am also going to be available to write letters of recommendations for each of you upon request in case you are interested in searching for employment elsewhere. If you do stay though, you will keep your time in and your acquired vacation time."_

 _At this point he opened up the floor to questions. I wasn't paying attention as much as I could have been though. My brain was already working out my options. I still had a couple years left of school and while I was making barely more than minimum wage I enjoyed my job and my coworkers._

 _By the time we were dismissed from the meeting it was fair to say that the employees weren't the happiest bunch. The "this is bullshit" lines were endless and coming out of many dedicated employee's mouths._

 _We didn't want to become corporate. Our store had stood alone for fifty years. The operation while not always flawless was ran effortlessly. We prided ourselves on our independence and now our owner had sold out._

 _I wasn't as upset as the rest of the group and spent most of my time outside trying to calm down the variety of employees who vented to me. A few employees had already decided to quit and look for jobs elsewhere. While I did let the thought of quitting briefly flicker through my mind, it didn't last long. I figured I'd give the new company and its people a try. If I didn't like it then I'd start to look elsewhere._

 _This day however set many events into motion that I wasn't aware of. Everything in my life was about to change and I had no clue. It didn't happen overnight but this night launched the beginning of one of the best relationship's I would ever form in my life._

"Attention passengers," the flight attendant's announcement once again tore through my thoughts.

This was not good. I was on a short hour and a half plane flight and already I couldn't keep my mind off Killian. As everyone made their way back to their seats in preparation for landing I tried to change the course of my thoughts to thoughts about Walsh. He was a good man (mostly) and we had been together for eight years now. We made it through our long distance relationship while I was in college, he was who I had lost my virginity too, and he stayed with me even after all the mistakes I had made in the past. Sure he had made his mistakes too and our relationship was nowhere near perfect, but whose was? He was reliable, a steady constant in my life. I realize how unromantic that sounds as I'm thinking about it, but all the facts are true. Does anyone look at their significant other the same after eight years?

Ugh, this was not helping with my Killian situation. Granted he wasn't all sunshine and daisies either and we fought like cats and dogs, but he does see me for who I am. I'm confusing myself even more now. Plus, I already knew Killian would never leave himself vulnerable around me at a work conference. He was playing the corporate game; he was working his way up the ladder, why would he want to be seen spending time with a store manager? One who wasn't even in his district?

I close my eyes and brace myself for the plane landing. Maybe this weekend would clear up my crush with Killian; maybe he would ignore me for the corporate big shots and I could realize how much like a school girl I was being and move on. Then I could focus on my current fiancé and our future together. As the plane hit the runway I knew every moment I was closer and closer to seeing Killian and hopefully moving on.

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Not sure what I think about the turn out of this one but I know where I need the story to go so that's why I'm giving a lot of backstory at the moment. Let me know what you guys think :) Each and every review means the world to me!


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: Just Another Introduction**

 _It had been a long tough day. I had spent my whole midday eleven to seven shift with our new corporate trainer. The trainer had been dealing with much worse all day then the cashiers he was training. His name was Peter and while he was young he showed a lot of patience towards all of us women that were giving him a hard time._

 _I was no exception, even though I wasn't as upset as some of the women in the store there were a few things that I didn't like. First, I wasn't a huge fan of change (although seriously who was?) but second I wasn't a huge fan of being told what to do. The irony in this certain situation would be humorous many years later but at the present moment I wasn't amused._

" _I hate this system, it's annoying and isn't as easy to use as our old system." I complained out loud to Peter. Peter even having heard this comment countless number of times during our day remained patient with me._

" _It'll get easier I swear," Peter said casually._

" _So, how long are you going to be here working with us?" I asked._

" _I'm only here a couple days then they are going to send a manager over to help transition you guys more." Peter answered, I was sure he was relieved that he wasn't the manager who had to come in and deal with all the frustrated employees on a daily basis._

" _Who's the manager?" Ruby asked from the register next to me._

" _I actually don't know him. His name is Killian Jones though. He's from the Lanston store down the road." Peter answered shrugging his shoulders._

" _Hopefully he's not a dick," Ruby added causing a small laugh to escaped Peter's lips which he clearly tried to hold back unsuccessfully._

 _After an extremely frustrated drawer check out session that evening I questioned my decision to stay. I went over Walsh's parent's house that night where he lived and voiced my concerns. Walsh quickly calmed me down and convinced me that I would be fine and it would get easier. As I lay in his arms that night I really hoped he was right._

 _A few days later I was adjusting to the system quite well. My bubbly personality was in overdrive working on calming down the employees and customers who hated change even more than I did. I was in the middle of my shift working the register while Blue (who would soon be transferred to another store since new corporate rules wouldn't allow her to work with her daughter Tink) worked the service desk dealing with all the returns and troubled customers._

 _I worked well with Blue and was sad to see her go, Blue (her nickname because of her bright blue eyes) had been patient with me during the past few years and never treated me like a child like some of the other service desk women had. I had just straightened up the candy when I turned around and saw Blue talking to a young man. His face was attractively scruffy and his dark hair looked to be perfectly placed. I knew he was older then me but he was certainly was still in his mid-twenties. He was engaged in an upbeat conversation with Blue when I noticed he was wearing a Cal's shirt._

 _I quickly put two and two together and concluded that this man standing at the service desk must be the man corporate had sent over to be our new manager and help train our staff. At first I was surprised at how young he was but I also respected him for growing his career this far at such a young age. I also couldn't help but notice how attractive he was. I could tell he was naturally handsome without putting much effort into his appearance._

" _Hey Emma, come here a minute please." Blue said with a soft smile._

 _I walked slowly up to the desk taking in the man before me. He had a nice face and was appearing to be happy but I could sense an underlying uncertainty about the man. I wondered if he was actually happy about the transfer to this store of if he was forced to come and was just waiting to see how it all played out._

" _Emma," Blue said breaking through my thoughts, "this is Killian; he's our new assistant manager."_

 _I smiled at Killian and he gave me a small smile in return. He was on the other side of the service desk so I didn't make the move to suggest a stretched out handshake, Killian seemed to have the same idea because he didn't make a move either. We briefly locked eyes and while he didn't openly check me out or even attempt to make small talk I could tell he was briefly sizing me up. Probably wondering if I was capable of doing my job or if he was going to have to come in and replace me. Blue began talking to Killian about his experience and I took this as a good opportunity to return to my register. I figured I would get enough time with the new assistant manager in the future and was hoping more to just stay out of his way and off the radar._

 _My mind quickly began to think about Walsh and mentally went over what plans we had during the week. I didn't give the new assistant manager another thought that day and when I left and went to hang out with Walsh I didn't even mention that I had met him._

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It's funny looking back on it now because I can't tell you the exact day we met, or the exact time. We were young. He didn't step out of a rainbow and into my arms. He simply walked in the door, and into my life. We didn't have a clue then how far life would take us. We didn't have a hint that the two of us would connect on the deepest level possible.

Sure there was initial attraction there but at the time I could have said that about a lot of guys. When I looked into his eyes the first time I didn't see the journey we were destined to travel. I didn't feel the emotion we were going to eventually feel.

"I see you survived the flight." My friend Graham said as he approached me therefore breaking my thoughts that were once again on Killian.

I smiled at him thankful for the distraction.

"I forgot you hate flying," my other friend Eric said as he began to walk in stride with us. Graham was my last store manager I had before I got promoted and we became close over the course of the last few years. Eric was the manager who hired me many years ago. Eric was actually the store manager we had when Killian became our assistant manager all those years ago as well.

"Yes I survived you two, no thanks to you Graham and your terrible plane jokes and crashing plane videos before we boarded." I responded and sent Graham a fake dirty look.

He laughed, "Oh Emma, it's going to be a long weekend." He added with a smile.

'Geez, I hope not,' I thought once again my mind drifting back to Killian. Killian was already at the conference having to attend a day early to go to district manager only meetings. However, he was on my flight back. I wondered if he would sit next to me to discuss the weekend events. Maybe there would be no weekend to discuss though if he kept to his people and I kept to mine.

As I boarded the bus that was taking us to the hotel I knew I was quickly approaching the time I would see Killian again, and see what the weekend had in store for us. I was hoping he wouldn't remember the fact that I owed him an explanation about what went down at his going away party when he got drunk with me. I was hoping he wouldn't ask me to tell him about what he said to me that night. Hopefully he would be wrapped up in business and too distracted to have a conversation that was long overdue.

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Thanks for all your follows and comments! I know exactly where this story is headed but I have to build some back story for us to get there! Next chapter you will finally get to see Killian and Emma interact in present day! I wonder how he will react to seeing her at the conference? Also what story do they need to discuss from the past? Stay tuned! THANKS AGAIN! Let me know what you think :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: Finally Feeling Like Myself**

 _Killian hadn't been there long when he started impacting my life. The smallest thing can change your life, as this did mine. I mostly tried to stay out of Killian's way in the beginning. Some of the other cashiers were flirting with him which he only slight reciprocated in the beginning. I could tell he was here to make a difference in our store and make a name for himself. Since I had been with Walsh and things were going well I didn't go out of my way to flirt with him. Yes, I was a flirt I will admit but mostly just meaningless flirting with guys that I was comfortable with or customers who didn't make a daily difference in my life. I felt like I had finally settled down after years of looking for a reliable man. I was content, hell happy even. Granted I was only twenty years old but still felt like I had my life and my relationship under control. All of that changed in a course of a day though._

 _You really never see these things coming. I remember working with Killian and I'm sure it was just another average day, not special enough to even remember the date or time. Work was carrying on like always and I needed him to grab change for my till and get it for me. I wasn't facing him, but before I knew it he was behind me, right behind me. Now I've been close to men before so this wasn't anything new, except for the fact that my stomach dropped completely. I could smell his cologne and feel his breath on the back of my neck. He didn't touch me but I felt the butterflies. The moment was probably only five seconds long, if that, but the effect of it was significant. A huge feeling out of nowhere, I knew I was in trouble then, I never could have predicted how much._

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That day many years ago really changed my life. It sounds simply, a simple act that could have been done by anyone else and not gotten the same reaction. I know it sounds crazy that such a simple moment could have altered my life but I'm being honest when I say it did. I could never look at Killian the same after that moment. He went from being just another guy to someone who I was curious about, someone who gave me butterflies. I thought after I met Walsh I would never get butterflies again but then completely out of the blue there they were. With a complete stranger, but the feeling was strong. I was surprised and certainly confused.

As the bus pulls into a long driveway my eyes land upon the biggest hotel I'd ever seen. It was gorgeous, the exquisite architecture and grand scale of the hotel made me excited to spend the next three days there.

"Not bad right?" Graham commented from the seat beside me, he had already been to a few conferences here before.

"It's gorgeous, I'm actually impressed." I replied still staring at the ginormous building.

"Time for a beer, right bud?" Eric asked from the seat behind me.

I laughed, I had heard about the open bar parties our vendors put on for us during the evenings. Classes started at eight in the morning and went until at least eight at night but after we got huge events with free booze for us until midnight. I was glad that I had partying experience in my background from my college days because I was determined to not be 'that girl', the stereotypical drunk girl in a room full of thousands of men. As fun as I'm sure it would be, I still knew it was a work function and there would be eyes everywhere.

The next hour flew by as I explored the grand hotel with Eric and Graham. We ate lunch in the huge hall and laughed as we help each other try to find our hotel rooms in the maze of a hotel. I found it humorous that I was directing the guys to their rooms and they were the ones who had been here before. I was actually relaxing for the first time in what felt like forever. I didn't have to worry about Walsh and I could just be myself. I felt more comfortable in my own skin then I had in years. I was happy just joking around and hanging out with my guy friends. Guys that I had no physical attraction to what so ever and who liked me for who I was.

I still had an hour before my meeting and decided to head to my room to get myself ready and see if my roommate Mulan was there. I always got along with Mulan and it was her first conference too. She wasn't the most girly-girl, and not much of a gossiper but she was a tough lady and a huge bitch if need be.

As I walked through the hordes of Cal's employees and up the staircase that would lead me to my floor I spotted two of my other friends, Hap and Doc standing at the top of the stairs and taking in the scenery.

"Well aren't you guys being creepy checking out all the chicks from the top of the staircase standing next to this tall plant trying to be discreet." I teased them as I approached.

They both hugged me in greeting before Doc replied, "Please this is a sausage fest and I actually just watched ten dudes check out your ass as you walked up the stairs. You still got it girl!" He exclaimed laughing.

"Please, you know she's only looking for Killian." Hap replied slying smiling at me.

"Shut up you two, I'm getting married in a few months." I replied teasingly. I forgot that these two had both worked under Killian's management at our old store and had both called me out on my crush on our former boss.

Shockingly they had both been very supportive of my feelings (even though I constantly denied them and brushed them off) and they both encouraged me to act on my feelings, they even had some crazy notion that Killian felt something for me too.

"Exactly, perfect reason for you two to finally hook up before you tie the knot. You're out of town, away from Walsh's prying eyes. The indoor gardens get quite romantic at night you know." Doc said clearly not dropping the subject. I'm not going to lie and say I have never pictured 'hooking up' with Killian. During our many late night store closings and close teasing back office interactions it was hard not to. However, the problem was I couldn't see what happened after the hook up. Where would we go from there? He had Milah and I had Walsh.

"I'm sure you know about those gorgeous gardens from past experience Doc." I replied deflecting my answer and placing the focus on him.

He smiled like he knew what I was doing but he replied, "Of course I know from experience, it's the perfect place to set the mood for an enjoyable evening. I was just up here looking at my very limited prospects."

"You mean victims," I joked at him and smirked before adding, "Well I'm headed up to my room before the opening ceremony. You two are trouble so I'm sure I'll see you later."

* * *

A short hour later I headed down to the opening ceremony. Luckily Graham and Eric had came to my room to walk downstairs with me since the hotel was huge and easy to get lost in. I felt comfortable wearing my black pants, teal polo shirt and black tennis shoes. I wasn't sure what to expect so I was slightly nervous. My long blonde hair fell just below my shoulders and I had put on a decent amount of makeup, overall I thought I looked okay.

I had texted my boss to let him know I had arrived. My boss was now ironically Peter the trainer from all those years ago. He had got out of the training department and became a district manager. Although sometimes we butted head overall we got along pretty well.

Peter had texted all ten of his store managers to meet in front of the entrance to the grand hall where the opening ceremonies would occur. Somehow amongst the throngs of people we managed to find our district. Most the managers were already standing there waiting to go in.

I was immediately surprised at how many people there were jammed into such a small place. We got lucky to find our district right away. I also noticed that I was severely out numbered. In the hardware business I was used to being one of the few females working, however here at the management level there were way more men then women. Hell I was one of the only females in the hallways currently amongst hundreds of men; it was every woman's heaven. However I secretly was only looking forward to seeing one man.

I greeted Mulan warmly and shook hands with my boss.

"Impressive, isn't it?" Peter asked me with a smile.

"It really is," I agreed and couldn't help the smile that had formed on my face. It was impressive that our company had arranged to have all of us managers here. It had to take a lot of time and effort and I really respected and appreciated our company more because of it.

"Just wait, it gets better." Peter replied with a smile clearly enjoying himself as well.

I turned my head and immediately thought 'it already is getting better.'

He was walking at a fast clip like always (one of the many things we have in common) and somehow in a room full of people Killian had spotted our group and started walking towards us.

He was in khaki pants and a light blue button up shirt that brought out his eyes. His gaze was locked on mine as he approached the group and I felt warm all of a sudden. He stopped right next to me and immediately began shaking hands with everyone in the group. He knew them all from being a part of our district for so long as a store manager before he got promoted.

As he was going around the circle greeting everyone I noticed that he was saving me for last. I really hoped he wasn't going to give me a handshake. After all we had been through I knew a handshake would be really awkward. Instead his eyes rested on me again and he surprised me by giving me a one armed side hug (something he was famous for and I teased him relentlessly about never being able to fully commit to a real hug) and a huge smile.

As he hugged me he shocked me further by saying, "Hello Darling."

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I know! Another chapter so soon! I really love this story and like I said I already know how the entire thing will play out which makes it easy to write! I hope you guys are enjoying it as much as I am! Let me know! I LOVE the reviews and follows! THANK YOU for your support!


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five: Looking Out for Me**

 _I remember pacing the office. Killian was on his way to count my till out and I was still wondering if I should tell him what had happened. It wasn't a big deal, I was just a little uncomfortable. Was there a point in creating drama when it didn't need to be created? I hadn't even told Walsh about the incident. I just didn't want to be alone with Hans. He made me feel uncomfortable, even before he touched me…_

 _Just then the door opened and Killian walked in. "Ready for me?" He asked, clearly referring to the money even though my dirty mind took his comment mentally somewhere else. Usually I would smirk at him and tease him about the comment but I really wasn't in the mood._

 _He maintained eye contact with me for a full thirty seconds before continuing talking, "Alright Emma, what the hell is going on with you? You've been acting strange for a couple weeks now. What's going on?" He asked, always immediately cutting to the chase._

" _Nothing," I answered quietly and then quickly broke eye contact with him and stared at the floor._

 _Before he could push me harder on the subject, Eric our current store manager walked in the office. "Ready to go bud?" He asked me while walking up to my drawer to double check it._

 _Killian walked past me towards the door, he leaned down and whispered in my ear discreetly, "Upstairs, five minutes." He locked eyes with me and his stern look told me he clearly meant business before he walked out of the office._

 _Five minutes later I found myself walking up the stairs to the second floor. Before we got bought out by corporate the upstairs was always bustling with people, however now the offices were long abandoned and the upstairs was barely ever used. Apparently except for private conversations. Now I won't lie I had pictured Killian asking me upstairs before, however to have a serious conversation was never the way my fantasy had played out in my head._

 _I walked quietly down the hallway and found Killian in the second office on the right waiting for me. The office was cleared out so he was leaning against the window, his shoulders were tense._

" _Tell me what the hell is going on." He said before turning around._

" _Nothing," I replied lamely, still trying to get out of the conversation._

" _Damnit Emma, you haven't been yourself in two weeks and while no one else may notice it I have. You've been fidgety and almost uncomfortable in the store, which I've never seen you act like. I know I've only been here eight months, but in the last eight months I feel like I have gotten to know you pretty damn well, so I will ask you one more time. What is wrong? And don't feed me bullshit this time, because we aren't leaving this room until you tell me." I really did love when he rambled, and I won't lie and say that I didn't feel a bit warm inside over the fact that he was able to read me so well. He was right, he had gotten to know me well over the last eight months. What started out as simple conversation soon turned into deeper conversation. We had discussed our dreams, ambitions, fears and so much more on a regular basis with each other, so I shouldn't have been surprised when he noticed I had been acting differently lately._

 _We stared at each other for a moment, both being stubborn before I decided I could trust him._

" _Look Killian, I'll tell you but you have to promise me you won't make a big deal out of it. You can't tell Eric. I don't want this to turn into a big event when it's not a big deal." I said finally breaking our staring match._

" _Fine, now tell me." He replied._

" _It's Hans." I said softly._

" _What did Hans do?" He asked in a calm voice._

" _Look it's no big deal, just a couple of weeks ago, I think it was Easter Sunday, when he was the closing manager and I was the closing service desk personnel we were in the office after we closed and he grabbed me ass while I was checking my till out. I told him to stop and thought he was just messing around but then he said, 'No I'll do it again.' And then he grabbed my ass again. I pretended to laugh it off because I didn't want to make a big deal out of it to him but it made me feel uncomfortable and that's why I've been acting strange in the store, because I don't want to be alone with him." I had managed to explain the whole situation to him while looking out the window not wanting to make eye contact with him._

" _Look," I continued "It's no big deal, I'm just being stupid. I don't want to make a big deal out of it. He was probably messing around." I finally turned my head and made eye contact with him._

 _I was surprised to see the amount of fury in his eyes, "He touched you? Even after you asked him to stop?" He said in a surprisingly calm voice, if I couldn't read his eyes so well I wouldn't even know he was angry._

 _I nodded, "Look Killian, you promised you wouldn't say anything, I'm only telling you because you've been so damn persistent in asking me."_

" _Fine," he said evenly. "You should have told me sooner though. I thought we had a better relationship then that."_

" _Killian, I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, that's why I didn't bring it up. Now don't do anything about it because It's not a big deal." I said._

" _Fine," he replied "Now I'll go down one stair case and you go down the other one on the other end of the building in five minutes."_

 _I finally smirked, "Why don't want to be seen sneaking downstairs with me?" I sarcastically asked, glad I was finally able to get the problem off my chest and relax a bit._

" _Exactly, it wouldn't look good for either of us if anyone saw us sneaking downstairs together." He then turned and walked out of the small office. I stood in the office an extra couple minutes laughing at his goofiness and trying to push much dirtier thoughts of the two of us up here alone out of my head._

The room broke into applause forcing me out of my thoughts. The meeting looked like it was wrapping up, which I was thankful for. After a long afternoon of meetings I was looking forward to the open bar reception that was about to occur. As the last speaker approached the microphone my thoughts drifted back to the memory I was just thinking about. I remember coming into work the next day and being took into the office by the store manager Eric to write and official harassment complaint. I then remember storming out of the office and yelling at Killian to meet me outside on the side of the store. It was our first big fight.

" _You fucking lied to me!" I yelled the second he turned the corner out of the front door._

" _You promised me you wouldn't tell Eric and make a big deal out of the situation! I trusted you! I don't want to have the attention on me. Hans is going to be so mad at me! I don't want to deal with this! You promised! I told you it wasn't a big deal!" I yelled at him, not caring that he was still my boss or that the cars on the road in front of us were probably seeing quite a scene._

" _But it is a big deal Emma. He harassed you. What did you expect me to do? Do nothing? I couldn't do nothing with the information! What if he did something else to you? What if something else happened and I had known but done nothing?" He asked in a calm voice, not fazed by my reaction._

" _So you were protecting yourself? How fucking noble of you! Now I have to go in the store and deal with this and talk to corporate Human Resource people because of you! I trusted you!" I replied in fury._

" _Emma, I did what I had to do as a manager. Also, I was protecting you. You work too hard to come into work and feel uncomfortable, you don't deserve that. I couldn't mentally allow him to work with you again after knowing that he touched you. This isn't your fault. It needs to be taken care of." He replied still calm as can be._

 _The fact that he was calm while I was so enraged only made me madder. "Leave me the fuck alone, I'm never telling you anything again." I said before turning around and walking away to calm down._

It was the first time he had protected me. It was also our first major disagreement. I never apologized for yelling at him. Hell, I don't think I ever thanked him for looking out for me. Now years later as a store manager I knew he was doing the right thing then. When I told my mom about it a few months later she instantly grew to love Killian, without even meeting him because he had protected me.

As the last speaker walked off the stage I stood up and stretched my legs. I was glad to be done with the meeting part of the day. I was ready for a beer. Also, the Super Bowl was on that evening and corporate had promised to have tons of televisions lining the reception hall for us to watch the big game.

"Time for a beverage Emma?" Eric asked as we started to slowly file out of the meeting room.

"Yes, lead the way." I replied.

As we stepped out of the meeting room and into the hallway I saw carts already set up handing out beer and chicken wings. As I made my way over to a beer cart with Eric I felt my phone vibrate. I took it out of my pocket and was surprised to see Killian's name flash across the screen. I had barely seen him this afternoon during the meeting and figured he'd be out playing the corporate game of climb the ladder tonight. I figured I'd run into him eventually but I didn't think I'd see his name flash across my phone so quickly.

I picked up my phone and was greeted with his warm voice as he asked me, "Where are you?"

* * *

So sorry it's taken so long! I'm in the middle of moving and switching jobs but really I have no excuse! Thank you to all my readers! This story is very near and dear to me so let me know what you think! Your reviews and follows keep me motivated! 3


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six: Breaking Our Unbreakable Connection?**

 _The first time Killian got promoted and transferred broke my heart. It was silly really, we had only worked together a year. In fact, I barely even knew him since he guarded his personal life so well. However although I didn't know his parents or what he specifically did every night after work I knew his passion. I knew his drive. I knew he was intelligent, and not just from our Sunday crossword puzzles that we completed at the service desk every Sunday night when we closed together, but from the way he conducted himself. I knew he was sarcastic and understood my sense of humor as well. We often laughed together about the most random things. I knew he was observant, he would often recall the smallest moment weeks later and I was always surprised by his memory. And somehow during the course of a year, of many conversations, a few fights, and countless hours spent together I knew he had grown to care about me. I didn't know if it was in a romantic way (although I selfishly wished it was) I didn't know if his lingering looks or mega-watt smiles he would frequently send my way meant anything. However, they meant something to me._

 _As time passed during the year we worked together I became more and more in tune with Killian Jones. I needed to know where he was and wanted to know what he was thinking. Simple passing conversations soon became not enough, I craved more. More time, more words, more connection. But for what purpose? He was leaving me. He was pursuing his dream of climbing the corporate ladder. He was moving forward with his life, taking his girlfriend along with him but leaving me behind. He had snuck his way in and become a major part of my life in the year that he worked with me. Now he was slamming our chapter shut and starting a new one without me. There would be no more late night conversations, no more teasing comments or meaningful glances. We wouldn't be spending time together anymore. And yes while I knew that working together shouldn't count for anything, shouldn't count for any importance because it wasn't like we were spending time together freely by choice. However, it meant something to me. He was the reason that I put that extra touch of makeup on my face before work, he was the reason that I walked in with a smile. And yes I knew this was wrong, I had a boyfriend and he had a girlfriend. I shouldn't be waking up and looking forward to spending time with someone else's man, a man who wasn't mine, but the second I found out he was leaving me all these realities came crashing into me._

 _He never touched me. We didn't hug or even high five. I don't know if it was because we were afraid of what would happen if we started touching each other or if he just never felt the need. We already had such an intense relationship adding a physical aspect to it, as innocent as a simple hug or high five would be could certainly possibly change things. So I wondered on our last day working together, which was a Sunday coincidently (my favorite day to work with him): would he hug me? Would he simply walk away and never look back? Was I simply losing my mind and overthinking things (this was probably the accurate answer)._

 _I remember in the third month of us working together, right after he made me feel butterflies, he grabbed my hand in the office. I was making a comment about how good of a job I did that day and how I deserved a gold star. He grabbed my hand with a wicked smile and took his pen out of his pocket. He then proceeded to draw a star on my hand. This was a silly gesture, he did it as a joke to appease our sarcastic selves, however the butterflies that abruptly appeared again and my nerves that immediately stood on end wasn't a joking matter at all. That was the last time he had touched me. I don't know if he felt anything, or if I was just over thinking the situation like I always did but I never forgot that moment. So on the day of his departure from our store that memory appeared with my questions, how would he leave me?_

 _He probably didn't even care. He probably saw me as a young, silly girl who had a school girl crush. He had to know how I felt about him, even though I tried to play it off and not make it obvious. However, he always came back to me, he always initiated our conversations, he'd always sit up front at the service desk with me for hours and ask me about my life and what was going on. He appeared to genuinely care. Sure he had to watch the service desk that was his job, but did he have to joke around with me? Did he have to ask me about my dreams and aspirations? Did he have to share his with me?_

 _I had bought him a going away cake. 'Everyone deserves a cake on a special occasion.' My mother always says. So I bought a cake. It was getting late in the afternoon on Sunday, we only had a few hours until we closed when Killian invited me upstairs to eat some cake with him. Ruby said she would cover the desk for me with a knowing smile, she always insisted that Killian and I were meant to be together. The store was slow so we left the sales floor and travelled upstairs to the lunchroom._

 _I tried not to feel sad, employees left all the time. It was a natural occurrence in the store, however none of them leaving had ever affected me like this. It didn't make sense, he was supposed to just be another guy, just another boss, him leaving wasn't supposed to hurt me, it wasn't supposed to break my heart. Why did I feel like I was getting broken up with? Why did I care?_

" _Thank for the cake," Killian said softly as he used a fork to cut into it. He was being much more quiet and reserved then normal. Usually Killian was loud and chatty. Him not acting the same threw me off as well._

" _Uh no plates?" He asked with a smile._

" _Shit," I said suddenly feeling very stupid for buying a cake and not buying plates._

" _And it looks like that was our last fork," he said holding up the empty box laughing._

 _I blushed, hating feeling stupid around him._

" _We will just improvise," He said grabbing a couple Styrofoam cups from next to the coffee pot. He placed a piece of cake in each cup and handed one to me._

" _Thanks," I said still feeling slightly uncomfortable from the intensity of emotions swirling inside me. This wasn't like us. We were always quick-witted, we always had something to say, an opinion to voice, that was one of the many things I loved about our relationship: the ease of it. We never had to force conversation, words flowed between us easily._

" _So congratulations, you must be really happy." I said trying to keep the bitterness out of my voice._

 _If he sensed it he didn't comment on it._

" _I am, I've wanted this for quite a while." He said his gaze never wavering off my face._

 _I was determined to not let him read me, to not let him see how much I was hurting by his departure._

" _Are you nervous?" I asked keeping the conversation going._

" _A bit, however I feel like I ran this store so it shouldn't be much different." He replied and I smiled. We both loved Eric as a person but agreed he wasn't the strongest store manager._

" _You're going to do great Killian," I said and I meant it. He was destined for great things. He was an excellent leader. He knew exactly what to say and when. He was an easy person to follow, to listen to. He was strong and he knew what he was doing._

" _I'm going to miss you around here," I blurted out without thinking. However, I knew that I needed him to know at least some of what I felt. I'm not sure what the point of him knowing would be though, I just needed him to hear it._

" _I'm going to miss you around here too," he said smirking while repeating my words, however his eyes told me the seriousness of his words._

" _What are you going to do without the drama of our work soap opera? Drain the Fluids as you so eloquently called it." I said teasing him about his extremely appropriate name. Over the past year of working together we frequently talked about the store being a soap opera. There was always some drama going on within the four walls of this building. Ruby insisted that Killian and I would be the main stars of the show. Casted as star-crossed lovers who just hadn't gotten together yet._

" _You'll just have to keep me informed," he said although I knew the comment was empty. He wasn't going to care about our store drama once he left, he would have his own store drama to deal with. He would have a new group of employees working for him, maybe he would have a new service desk girl to share his aspirations with, maybe I would become a distant memory. Maybe I shouldn't fucking care._

 _The rest of the afternoon progressed quickly. We completed our crossword puzzle leaning a little closer than normal across the service desk. We flirted a little more openly. We both knew it was the end. How much he cared that it was the end was the only uncertainty. As we closed the store and Killian said goodbye to the employees I had to force myself to contain my emotions. He gave Ruby a one armed hug as she threw her arms around his neck. They didn't have the connection that we did but she was quite fond of him still._

 _We walked across the parking lot together in silence. We had coincidently parked next to each other. He had his old beat up yellow truck with the bullet hole stickers on the door and I had my rusty old escort wagon. He carried the box filled with his leftover cake in one hand. As we approached his car he looked at me._

" _Thanks for the cake. And everything else." He said his short comment containing a much deeper meaning. He put his one arm around me and I wrapped my arms around his neck. It wasn't a long hug, the kind of hug you would expect out of two people who had as much tension as the two of us. It wasn't as intimate as I wanted either, however it was exactly as I expected. Killian would push me away now. This I knew, he had no reason to hold onto me or our relationship. He was going to move on. He wasn't going to look back. He was going to live out his dreams, without me. I knew it was going to happen this way, however it didn't stop my heart from breaking more as it played out._

 _He got in his car quickly and pulled away driving towards his dream that he had waited so long for. The tears flowed freely as I drove home and tears fell down my cheeks much more often then they should have over the next few weeks. Rascal Flatt's lyrics "What hurts the most is being so close and having so much to say and watching you walk away," floated through my head frequently in the next couple weeks. And just as expected I didn't hear a word from Killian._

"Hey how's it going?" Killian asked as he walked up to me pulling me from my thoughts. We'd come so far since the day he first left me a few years ago.

"Great, a bit overwhelming but in a good way. Cal's certainly knows how to treat it's managers." I said smiling at Killian. He looked good. He looked relaxed. Something I didn't expect from him. I expected him to be tense and rigid being around so many important people in our company. I expected him to be talking to upper management not hanging out with his old employee.

"Come meet my managers," he said pointing across the room. I smiled again surprised by the fact that he wanted to introduce me to his managers. This man was full of surprises tonight.

We approached a table surrounded by a group of men. I was the only woman.

"Emma this is Leroy, Robin, Al and Jaf. Guys this is Emma we used to work together." Killian said introducing us.

"I'm so sorry you had to work with this guy," Leroy said smiling at me.

"I'm so sorry you have to work with him now," I replied cheekily.

"I like her, where have you been hiding? Plus you have a great ass." Leroy said making it obvious he was checking out my ass.

I laughed and he looked surprised, like he thought I might get offended or something. I knew he was harmless and honestly it was quite flattering to be so blatantly checked out.

"Stop being a creep Leroy," Robin said laughing.

"I'm used to being around creeps, I've worked with them my whole life." I replied jokingly.

"We are going to get along just swimmingly." Leroy said downing the rest of his beer.

"I'll get more," Al said walking towards the bar with Jaf.

The conversation turned to work as we talked about our stores. I was surprised to see Killian drink, again I figured he would keep himself sober to impress his superiors. Although looking around the reception I saw many of his superiors also enjoying themselves. It made me feel good to know that I worked for a company that allowed their upper management to let loose and have a good time.

A while later Eric came up us and joined the conversation. He then spotted someone across the room and said, "There's my trainer Jeff, come on Emma I'll introduce you." I shrugged at Killian and walked away with Eric.

I was somewhat glad for the break from Killian. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that he was spending so much time with me already. We had never been alone without our significant others or our employees. We always had someone watching our every move. Now just being able to stand in a group with him and not be judged by anyone was nice, however slightly overwhelming. Killian had stood next to me the entire time. We laughed and joked with his managers. I could tell that they all really respected him and enjoyed working for him, I wasn't surprised. However I was surprised by how easy we fell into conversation again, how it was like no time had passed between us. I hadn't seen him since he had showed up to my birthday party with Milah a few months ago. It was so crazy to be conversing with him and his managers like it was something we did every day. The rightness and easiness of the conversation was nice, too nice. That's why walking across the room with Eric was probably the right thing to do. As much as I didn't want to leave Killian's side I knew putting space between us was probably the best thing. Laughing with him, being open with him, enjoying his company was taking me down the same path we always went down. A path that I thought was destroyed both times he left me. A path that didn't led to anything good. What good could come of us reconnecting? The fact that I hadn't thought about Walsh once since I stepped on the plane didn't even cross my mind, but it should have.

* * *

 _Alright it's been a while. A long while I know. But I am still fully devoted to this story, I just needed some inspiration, I had been stuck on this chapter but now that it's out I have a plan of where the story is going to go. This story is very dear to me so I want to make sure it's done right. Thanks for all the support. Let me know what you think!_


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven: Party Distractions**

 _The second time Killian Jones left was even worse. It's hard to imagine that was possible after the difficulty of the first time. But to have him come back to leave again a year and a half later was absolutely devastating. Why would I put myself in this situation again? Why would I let him get close again? I knew he was going to leave. I knew he was destined to be a District Manager. However, when by a stroke of luck Killian was transferred back to our store to be the store manager I couldn't help the glee that filled my veins._

 _He was coming back. He was coming back to me. After being apart for a year and having very little communication I was thrilled to have him back in my life. By then my life had taken an extremely fucked up turn and I didn't know which way was up or down. My relationship with Walsh was hanging on by a thread and I was a complete disaster. I had put myself in a spot that I couldn't come back from. I couldn't fix the mistakes I made, and I sure as shit couldn't own up to them without destroying my entire life. I was stuck. Having Killian came back grounded me. He made me see sense in my actions, he made me feel normal. He made me feel like I wasn't the royal fuckup I knew I was._

 _So we grew closer. He came back and everything fell back together. I wasn't able to fix my past with Walsh but I was able to move forward from it. He stimulated me intellectually again, he made me think. He made me dream big. I had been going to school to be a teacher and I was getting ready to graduate when he came back. He changed my vision._

" _You would be a great manager Emma," he said to me one night while sorting out stock in the backroom. I always loved our back of the store conversations, we had the space to breathe, to be ourselves, we didn't get interrupted over and over again by customers and employees._

" _What? What are you talking about Killian? I'm going to be a teacher." I said not sure what he was getting at._

" _I know, but I went to school to be a police officer, hell I was first in my class and I ended up here. As a store manager. And not a day goes by that I don't know that I made the right decision. Plans change, people change Emma. I think you have some real potential. You've already invested almost ten years into this company, why not give it a shot?" He asked me._

" _Killian, in case you haven't noticed you haven't even given me keys to the store yet. I need to be a key carrier and then an assistant before I can even think about becoming a store manager." I replied trying to keep the images of me running a store out of my head, I didn't want to be distracted. I had goals, and I was determined to fulfill them._

" _Okay, so I'll give you keys." He said simply like it was no big deal._

" _What? I don't want keys Killian, I don't want to go down this road. I have a plan." I said fighting him._

" _Again plans change Emma. I think you are really going to be missing out on an opportunity if you don't take this. You know how picky I am about who I give keys to in this store, but you deserve them. Hell you've been writing the schedule for years and you aren't even a manager. Why not get paid for something you know you can easily do?" He asked._

 _I was starting to see his point but I still didn't want to budge. However, I did respond with, "I'll think about it." The answer seemed to appease him._

 _One week later I had keys and was managing the store on my own at night. I was still going to school and was almost done with my Bachelor's degree, however I embarked on this new adventure as well. Killian taught me everything he knew. He dove into reports with me, he showed me all the ropes. He gave me not only keys to the store but keys to success._

 _However throughout his time of coaching me and training me at work and talking me off a cliff in my personal life I knew that our time was limited. I knew every day was another day closer to him leaving again. He had made it clear to his superiors that he wanted to become a District Manager, and I knew that he deserved to be a District Manager. I forced myself to not think about it, to enjoy the time together that we had. I had repaired my relationship with Walsh, things were moving forward. But the clock was ticking down my time with Killian._

 _I remember on March 15_ _th_ _Killian had a meeting with our Regional Manager. I knew that day that our time was over again. When he came back into the store with a big smile I knew he had gotten it. He had finally gotten his promotion. From the time I had met him years prior I knew that was his first major milestone. He wanted to be a District Manager. I had watched him excel as an Assistant Manager and as a Store Manager and now he was moving up again. He was leaving again._

 _I tried to be happy for him. I really did. But he got ripped out of our store two days later. This time we were closer though. I had finally cracked him and gotten him to hang out with me at my housewarming party, and our company Christmas party. I was finally able to text him, very carefully, but I could inform him of events and invite him and of course Milah to hang out._

 _Milah and I had formed a strange friendship. She was an alright person, honestly I didn't think there was anything special enough about her to make her worthy of Killian, but she was a good time. Plus I really enjoyed getting her drunk and getting her to hang out with us. That makes me sound like a terrible person but I was grasping at anything I could to spend time with Killian._

 _So I decided to do the only thing I could do when I found out Killian was leaving. I decided to throw him a party._

Speaking of parties, I needed to get out of my own head and focus on the Super Bowl party in front of me. Things had certainly taken a strange turn. Eric had introduced me to Jeff. Jeff was a nice guy. He was decently attractive with his blonde hair and blue eyes, although he was a little too short for my taste. He was kind and very attentive.

We started talking about work and our day to day lives. I noticed he started drinking his mixed drinks quicker. He then confessed that he wasn't much of a drinker but I made him nervous.

"Nervous?" I asked confused by the statement.

"Yes, you are pretty, funny, and the perfect girl." He said taking a large drink of his new drink in front of him.

"The perfect girl huh?" I asked, "No such thing."

"Well, if there was a perfect girl I think it would be you." He replied.

"That's very sweet," I replied, 'and slightly creepy' I thought additionally. We had made our way to an open table that we sat down at. Around us the Super Bowl was playing on the big screen TVs scattered around the room but my attention surprisingly wasn't on the game even though I am a huge football fan.

"You know I would move to Michigan for you," he said leaning towards me.

"You don't even know me," I said suddenly wishing someone would come and rescue me from this guy. I looked around and didn't recognize anyone in area. I knew I wasn't in danger, not surrounded by this many people, however I did want to leave this conversation as abruptly as possible.

"I'm engaged," I said hoping that maybe that would divert his attention.

"Really? Well now I'm brokenhearted." He said and I knew right then he was full of shit. He obviously had drank too much and was now looking to hook up with someone. Well that someone wasn't going to be me.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom," I said standing up.

"Me too," he answered smiling a drunk smile at me.

We walked towards the bathroom together and as soon as I got in the stall I took out my phone. I had started to text Killian about forty minutes ago when Jeff had started swooning over me, but I didn't want to have him rescue me. I hated showing signs of weakness and I didn't want him to think I needed him.

However, after another forty minutes of listening to Jeff I didn't care how I would appear to Killian.

'Save me.' I texted him quickly.

My phone immediately started ringing.

"Where are you?" He said before I could even properly greet him.

"In the bathroom by the smoking patio." I answered.

"Come out on the patio, we are all out here." He said sternly.

"Okay," I replied quickly and hung up.

I walked out of the bathroom where Jeff was waiting for me.

"I'm sorry Jeff but my Regional Manager just called and he wants me to hang out with my region, introduce myself to some of the other managers." I said trying to look apologetic.

"Really? That sucks. Can I have your number so I can text you to hang out later or tomorrow?" He asked.

I just wanted to get away from him so I gave him my number and then swiftly walked out the door.

"What the hell happened to you?" Killian asked concern all over his face.

"Funny you should ask," I said and then proceeded to tell him the entire story about how Jeff had fallen in love with me over the course of an hour.

"Wow, the perfect girl eh? Lucky you." He said sarcastically after I finished the story.

"Shut up," I said gently smacking him in the arm. We had gotten over the not touching each other thing, although we still rarely touched it did happen more often now that we hung out more.

He laughed and asked, "so which one is he?"

I discreetly pointed in the direction where Jeff was now standing with another guy on the patio. He kept looking over at me.

"Looks like he's your one true love, you sure you don't want to race back to his arms?" Killian teased.

I laughed and realized how much I was enjoying myself talking to Killian. Sure we were in a group of people but we were able to have a nice conversation together as well. I felt myself relax. Killian always had that effect on me, even when I was wound up about something or upset he could always calm me down quickly. It was one of my favorite qualities about him.

I decided to stop putting the distance between us the rest of the night. He obviously was enjoying hanging out with me and I was certainly enjoying hanging out with him, therefore I decided to throw caution to the wind and just be myself, because I knew with Killian being myself was perfectly okay.

* * *

They are getting closer! I told you I was invested in this story! What happens next? I already have part of the next chapter written too! Lots of plot to fill in! I hope you are all enjoying it! Let me know! Thanks again and have an amazing holiday!


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight: The Truth Comes Out

 _I wasn't good at many things in my life but I sure knew how to throw a hell of a party. I decided to throw Killian's going away party at a local bar. I invited everyone who worked with us in the past and the present. I wanted it to be the perfect night. Killian deserved that. He had affected all of our lives as our boss and he deserved to have an amazing party thrown for him._

 _Too bad we had to invite the significant others._

 _Again I know that sounds bad to say. However I knew nothing would happen if they weren't there, I just knew I couldn't be myself as much if they were there._

 _It reminded me of a conversation I had with Killian right before my house-warming party._

 _We were standing out the backdoor, he was smoking a cigarette. I had just gotten off of work. Usually we went outside and bullshitted a bit before I went home._

" _Why can't you come to my party?" I asked not understanding why he wouldn't hang out with us._

" _I'm only inviting the people that you like from the store, it'll be fun, I promise. I really want you there." I pushed._

" _Emma, I can't come to your party." He said his tone warning me to not push further._

 _Of course I wasn't one to usually listen to that tone when he gave it to me._

" _Killian, I don't understand, don't you want to hang out with us? We always have a good time." I said still not understanding the issue._

" _Emma, I know I would have a good time. That's not the problem." He replied shortly._

" _Then what's the problem Killian, are you scared?" I baited him._

" _No Emma I'm not scared, I just…I can't hang out with you outside of the store." He answered vaguely._

" _What the hell does that mean? Why not?" I asked not giving up._

" _Because." He said._

" _Because what? You can't be out in public with me? You can't be around my family and friends? You can't be around our significant others?" I asked trying to come up with a good reason._

 _I saw the subtle shift in his facial features. I had struck a nerve._

" _You can't be around our significant others? Why?" I asked feeling nervous out of the blue._

" _Because she would know." He said finally meeting my eyes._

" _Know what?" I asked. Killian never revealed his feelings about me. He would tease me and flirt with me, but he never ever admitted that there was anything between us. For all I knew our connection was all made up in my head._

" _She would know, she would see us together, and she would know." He said still maintaining eye contact with me. I was surprised he wasn't retreating I was surprised he wasn't denying his admittance and running back into the store, running away from me._

 _I didn't push him anymore. I knew what he meant. We already got teased at the store for close relationship by our fellow co-workers. However he usually just brushed off the comments and moved on. He never admitted there was any truth to them._

" _I couldn't cover up our connection in front of her, she would see right through me." He shockingly added._

 _I nodded showing that I agreed with him. I was speechless, which was rare for me, especially around Killian._

 _He smirked at my reaction._

" _Yea…you're right…you're totally right." I said the words awkwardly leaving my mouth. I didn't want to walk away I didn't want to get in my car and go home because I knew then that the connection would be broken. I doubted Killian would ever open up to me again after this conversation. He would retreat back into his shell._

" _We might as well just act on it then," I said suddenly finding some courage to push our normal boundaries some more._

" _You want to go upstairs?" He asked leaning slightly towards me._

 _My heart raced, of course I wanted to go upstairs with him but what would happen then? I knew we had no future together. Plus he was probably just teasing me again now. Although his face did look pretty serious._

" _Yea, let's go unless you're a pussy and couldn't go through with it." I said determined to see how far I could push him._

" _I would take you on the desk upstairs right now," he said and I was instantly turned on. Thoughts of him kissing me and laying me down on the desk upstairs raced through my head. By the look on his face I would bet my house that those thoughts were racing through his head too._

" _You couldn't handle it." I commented back._

" _Actually, I'm pretty sure you're the one that couldn't handle the consequences after." He said forcing me back to reality. He was right. I had been down this road before, with a far less worthy man and it had nearly wrecked my relationship. How would I handle it with a man I had an insanely deeper connection with? I would drown._

" _Let's go upstairs right now." I said determined to not let him see that he had me beat. We were at an impasse now. Although I knew it was ridiculous, it was the middle of the day, the store was open and he was my boss. However, I didn't want him to know that I knew he would never follow through or that he was accurate in saying he knew I couldn't do it either._

 _We simply stared at each other for a moment. So many meaningful words and confessions had just been exchanged in such a short period of time. This was unlike any of our conversations we had ever had. Sure Killian had joked about taking me upstairs before, but never immediately after admitting his attraction to me. That changed the game completely. We always flirted and teased but we left the serious conversations to be about our goals and our plans not our feelings. This was new territory, we were out of our comfort zone. I wondered if any of those same thoughts were going through his head as he stared at me. I refused to look away and break the connection. I didn't want it to end._

" _Well I should go inside," he said although he did look reluctant to leave me._

" _Okay, I'll see you tomorrow." I said before giving him a smile._

 _He smiled back at me, without reserve and without worry._

 _When he showed up at my party a couple weeks later I was surprised. Sure I had still pushed him on it, but I wasn't sure what made him change his mind about hanging out with his employees. He even bought me a nice bottle of vodka and a handmade wine glass. I was impressed, even though I knew that Milah picked out the glass, it was a very sweet gift._

 _Fast forward to over six months later and he had hung out with us more than once. That's why when I told him I was throwing him a party I knew without a doubt he would show up. I don't know if Milah ever saw anything between us, but if she did it didn't prevent them from hanging out with us._

 _The night of the party came and I had a great turnout. It was quite the tribute to Killian to see that almost all of his employees showed up to wish him luck and celebrate his promotion. The couple times we had all hung out together I noticed that Killian didn't drink much. He would have one beer and then stop. He had told me it was because he had to drive, but I was convinced it was also to keep himself in control. However, the night of his going away party Killian was certainly not worried about staying in control._

 _I found out that Killian loved shots of tequila when he was drinking. He ordered shot after shot of tequila for everyone. We toasted to so many good times and good friends. He sat across from me at the table, although he wasn't sitting next to me or touching me I felt like being face to face with him was almost more intimate then sitting side by side. I could see his every move, his every laugh, I could see the way he was enjoying himself. I was glad he was having such a good time._

 _Tink sat next to me and she was extremely drunk at this point and she yelled, "Picture of Killian and the girls!"_

 _I grinned wondering how Milah would react but she was just sitting at the end of the table taking it all in. It looked like she was the driver tonight and I had to admit I didn't like it when she was sitting there staring at me and her boyfriend instead of getting drunk and being oblivious._

 _All of us girls stood up and went to Killian's side of the table. I conveniently positioned myself to be right next to Killian in the picture. Milah was nominated to take the picture. We all gathered around Killian and put our arms around one another. Killian put his arm around my back. My body instantly reacted to the contact between us and I prayed that the bar was dark enough to not be able to see the goosebumps that had formed down my arms._

" _I'm glad that now I have a reason to touch you," Killian said softly, so softly I almost didn't hear him. However I glanced over and saw him staring into my eyes I knew that I had heard him correctly. The butterflies appeared back in my stomach as we took the picture._

 _This must have been what Killian was talking about, he was worried about revealing too much when we were outside of work. I'm sure the alcohol played a ginormous part in the comment as well. As the night went on the smile never left my face. Walsh was over talking to some of the other guys and Milah surprisingly remained low-key as well. She didn't talk to me much however I did see her eyes on me quite frequently, especially when I was talking to Killian. And talking to Killian was happening quite a lot._

 _As the shots kept flowing his words kept flowing. I enjoyed a drunk Killian, he let loose and had fun. I knew we would pay for it the next day but for now we were having fun._

 _The night was coming to a close and Killian and I stood off to the side. Nearly everyone was drunk or at least some form of buzzed thanks to Killian's shots and I was feeling pretty proud of myself for throwing such a good party._

" _Thank you," Killian said looking at me. Even though he was drunk I knew he was genuinely appreciative of the party I had thrown._

" _I'm glad you had a good time," I said smiling at him._

" _Too good of a time, I wish the good time could continue, especially with you." He said as he continued to look at me._

" _Oh yea? How so?" I asked feeling daring and quite curious of his answer._

" _I would have a threesome with you." Killian said and my eyes widened._

" _What?" I asked trying to clarify the words that were coming out of his mouth._

" _A threesome, I would totally have a threesome with you. I know Milah would be okay with it, she likes blondes and you're hot." Killian said looking like he had just came up with the best plan ever._

 _Now I was drunk, that much I could admit however, I still had some wits about me unlike the man in front of me. Honestly, I was just floored that he had so blatantly came out and asked me to have a threesome with him._

" _Ready to go?" Milah asked walking up and standing at Killian's side._

 _Killian was still giving me the 'open invitation' look so I moved my attention over to Milah._

" _Thanks for coming tonight, I hope you had a good time." I said politely feeling even more uncomfortable then usual around her. Usually she was the drunk one, not me and certainly never Killian._

" _Yea it was good, now I get to drag this drunk ass home." She said only looking slightly annoyed._

 _As he walked away and onto his new adventure without me I couldn't help but feel sad. On top of feeling sad though I was shocked, shocked at Killian's revelation with me. I wondered if things would ever be the same._

 _It turned out things did remain the same. The next day Killian came into the store, extremely hungover, and apologized for his drunkenness. He confessed to not remembering the end of the night and asked me if he had said or done anything stupid._

" _You don't remember?" I had asked shocked that he could offer me a threesome and then immediately forget about it._

" _Remember what?" He asked his face filled with worry._

" _You don't remember what you said to me? What we talked about at the end of the night?" I asked again._

" _No, I don't remember anything. What the hell did I say?" He asked openly worried now._

" _I can't repeat it, not to your face. Not now. I'll tell you one day, however today won't be that day." I said not knowing how he would react to the conversation we had sober. He left that day without his answer, and we moved on as if nothing had happened._

The party was winding down on the patio. I had been introduced to a lot of managers and district managers. It was nice to feel like part of a group. While I didn't solely talk to Killian the entire night he always was around. He was grabbing me beers and usually standing next to me. It was sweet that he was looking out for me, that he was including me into his group and that he was making sure I was taken care of.

"Well it's only ten, let's go to the bar on the other side of the property." Al said.

"Okay I just have to go grab cigarettes from my room." Killian said to the group.

"I'll come with you," I said quietly to him as everyone else was discussing their plans to make it to the bar.

We split off from the group and walked in the direction I assumed was Killian's room. We had to walk through the indoor gardens to get there. It was quiet throughout the hotel now, most people either in bed or partying in the bar. The gardens created quite the ambiance. I knew at this moment, as silly as it sounded, that I could stay and walk around these gardens with Killian forever.

It took him all of two seconds to dive headfirst into the conversation I somehow knew after a year we were destined to have.

"You owe me an explanation," he stated walked next to me. For both of us being fast walkers the pace we were going now was lazy.

"I know," I replied, stalling for time yet thrilled the conversation was clearly the front runner in his mind.

"So," he prompted.

"I don't know if I can say it to you," I answered honestly knowing I couldn't confess the truth to him without turning beet red, the alcohol was clearly present in my system yet it didn't provide me with much courage.

"Spit it out," he asserted using one of his famous lines he always said to me when he was pushing our conversations forward.

"I still can't believe you don't remember!" I exclaimed in response.

"Emma, come on." He chuckled locking eyes with me again.

I knew it would all come out tonight, it was inevitable. It was the reason I was brought here to this conference. The reason I had gotten miraculously promoted in a short amount of time. To have this conversation before I got married. Even though I knew there was no future to be had with Killian, I knew that this conversation, a conversation that seemed to be small and unimportant would alter our tedious friendship. Yet, as apprehensive as I was about disclosing the information regarding the one night he didn't remember completely I was more nervous about every other ounce of feeling I had had for so long being spilled to him. Once again I felt like I was in high school pining for the unavailable guy all the while not realizing that I was technically unavailable too.

"You told me you wanted to have a threesome with me," I blurted out knowing I had just chipped off the rock that would soon start the landslide.

Thanks for all the follows everyone! I know this story is extremely AU but it will all come together in the end I promise. I hope you are all enjoying it as much as I'm enjoying writing it! Let me know what you think!


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine: Intensity**

 _I had turned my life into a mess while Killian was gone. After he had left the first time it seemed that I was determined to wreck my entire life. Things with Walsh weren't good. They hadn't been good for a while. He was constantly distracted by his video games and obsessed with staying at home and not going out. It would be fine if he had been paying attention to me but he wasn't. He was testy, he fought with me a lot. He would snap at me for the smallest things. But a majority of the time we were together, he just ignored me. We would go hours on end without talking. I would try to start a conversation, try to convince him to go out with me. Not even out to party or hang out with friends, just out to dinner or a movie. I just wanted some quality time._

 _He became more forceful sexually as well. He would never physically hurt me or push me but he expected me to have sex with him every time we saw each other. If I wouldn't have sex with him he would get angry and make me feel bad, so I finally started having sex with him just to avoid the fight. I wouldn't face the fact that I was miserable because I didn't want to face life without Walsh. So I dealt with the situation, although I will admit not very well._

 _Once Killian left the store we hired a new employee. His name was August. August wasn't overally attractive in looks but he did have a way with words. And most importantly he paid attention to me, a lot of attention to me._

 _It started out small, he called me hot and it took me off guard. I hadn't been called hot to my face in years. Walsh certainly never called me hot anymore. August's revelation to me about my attractiveness took me by surprised and caused me to look at him in a new way._

 _Our friendship began slowly, August knew I was in a serious relationship so he didn't push me on the subject for months. But as time went on we started hanging out together, in groups at first but later on one on one. I found myself being able to talk to August about everything in life. About how messed up my relationship with Walsh was and even about Killian._

 _I remember we were hanging out in August's garage one day after work when I confessed the truth to him._

" _There's only one person I would ever consider leaving Walsh for." I said._

" _Who?" He asked genuinely concerned._

" _Killian Jones." I answered, shocked that I had revealed a revelation to him that I wouldn't even admit to my best girl friends I had known for years._

 _He didn't appear surprised though, he had seen us interact briefly before when Killian came in to visit occasionally._

 _After my revelation to August we just grew closer and closer. One day Walsh had gotten really mad at me and locked me out of the house. I immediately called up August and met up with him._

 _Now I'm not proud of what happened that night. However it had been a long time coming. August and I had gotten to know each other for eight months. For eight months I had been leaning on him the way I would my boyfriend, but since my boyfriend wasn't paying attention to me and treating me like shit I leaned on August._

 _We didn't end up having sex that night however we did make out. Of course I felt terribly guilty after that. I wasn't a cheater. I wasn't that girl. I didn't do those things when I was dating a guy. That night of kissing however started Hurricane August. Our relationship soon became a full-blown affair (could you have an affair when you weren't married?). Every time Walsh would ignore me or yell at me or force me to have sex with him I would go running to August. Again, it wasn't right and I wasn't proud of it but it happened. I was so emotionally fucked up over Walsh and the pain he was putting me through that I soothed myself with August._

 _August opened me up to a world of passion. He had lots of sexual experience when mine was a bit more limited. He showed me the importance of passion and lust in a relationship._

 _However, four months later August put his foot down. He put me in a checkmate situation. August had went and fallen in love with me. He wanted to be with me. He wanted to give me everything. He wanted me to break up with Walsh and be with him._

 _I knew I wasn't being fair in the situation, I wasn't being fair to Walsh, or to August, hell I wasn't even being fair to myself. However, from the beginning I had told August that I wouldn't ever leave Walsh to be with him. It wasn't that August wasn't a good guy, I just knew that he wasn't the right guy for me. Again, not something I was proud of. However my emotions were a mess, my life was spiraling out of control, I was sleeping with two men and I didn't know how to fix the situation or myself._

 _I started looking at myself in the mirror and hating myself, hating the person I had become. I was never a negative person but somehow I had turned into a super negative, self-destructive, completely unfair woman._

 _I knew when August ended our relationship that it was the right thing to do. It didn't make it easier though. It didn't make going back to Walsh's silence any better. Had I really become one of those women that would let herself be treated like dirt by a man? However, now I had added a whole new twist to the relationship, now I had a huge guilt I had to bear. I convinced myself that I deserved to be treated like shit by Walsh because of my secret relationship with August. My head and my heart were all fucked up._

 _That's when Killian came back. Right in the middle of my affair with August. I could tell immediately that he knew something was going on with August and I. He didn't comment on it at first but I saw his watchful gaze on us every time I interacted with August. I knew Killian would never judge me but I was still embarrassed._

 _As my time with August ended and I began to try to mend my relationship with Walsh, Killian supported me. One late night in the office I confessed my guilt to Killian. I told him the truth, I had nothing to hide from him and the one thing Killian and I always had was honesty. He didn't judge me. He told me to put the past behind me and that I wasn't married so it wasn't technically an affair and I should just move on._

 _Walsh and I began to talk more openly about our relationship. I didn't tell him all the details of my time with August, however I did confess to kissing him. Walsh of course didn't take the news well but he understood that he was to blame as well. He started spending more time with me, talked to me more. However, our relationship was never right after that, it always seemed a little off._

"I figured I had said something like that," Killian responded not breaking stride and not seeming phased by my confession.

"Really?" I asked surprised by his calm demeanor.

"Yes, I'm obviously attracted to you and having a million shots of tequila certainly makes a person speak the truth." He answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Inside my mind was on overdrive. He had just admitted his attraction to me again, sober this time, and without the distraction of our store.

We entered his room a moment later. Being in his room with him after that confession was not easy. I felt extremely uncomfortable to be honest. He must have felt the same because he couldn't even look me in the eye once we walked in hotel room. He grabbed his cigarettes and mumbled that he had to pee before escaping into the bathroom leaving me alone with his stuff. It was the first time I had been this close to his personal things. My stomach was doing flips. It was the first time ever that we were one hundred percent alone. No prying eyes or ears, no chance of a store page on the intercom summoning one of us up front, the hotel door was locked and no one knew where we were. I was spazzing out on the inside.

He barged out of the bathroom and muttered, "let's go" quickly. I almost laughed out loud because he was obviously feeling just as uncomfortable as I was. Once in the hallway the tension diminished slightly (it had never fully gone away in years). I made some crack comment about the situation and we both laughed it off. At this point I had thought for sure we had missed out chance.

Not that I was looking for another August. I knew I could never put myself in that situation again, and now things were different. Walsh and I were scheduled to be married in three months. I wasn't a young girl anymore, I was going to be a married woman very soon.

We walked into the bar and immediately came across the rest of our group. They had acquired us a couch section so Killian and I grabbed a beer and sat down on the end of one of the couches. I turned to face him.

"I missed this." I say to him, three words that contain so much meaning. I missed our connection, I missed our conversations, I missed our bond. I missed the way he always drove me to be better, to work harder. As we locked eyes I hoped he knew all those things that I missed about him without having to say them out loud.

"Me too," he answers with a soft smile and I am relieved to know that he understands.

"We've always had a connection, from the very beginning. It made life very difficult at times." He adds surprising me.

"That's true. Although you did flirt with more than just me." I added because he did form several other close relationships with Tink and Ruby over the years as well.

"Yes but none of them were you. Our connection was always deeper, it was always different with you. You are one of the most driven intelligent woman I have ever met. I'm obviously physically attracted to you as well but it's really your intelligence that gets me. The connection has never been that way with anyone else. Sure I've had small tension with others, but none of them have every compared to you." Killian says smiling at me, he looked surprisingly relaxed for someone confessing such strong feelings after all of these years. Although I realized that even in this intense conversation I found myself relieved. It was nice to be able to talk about our connection and our attraction out in the open.

"I know I could be quite a flirt as well, but none of them compared to you. You were always at a different level." I said wanting Killian to know that I felt the same way.

"I don't think it will ever go away. Even if we don't see each other for an extremely long period of time I know our connection will always be there." Killian said.

I felt like I was in an alternate reality. One where I was able to say everything I wanted to say and was hearing everything I always wanted to hear. It was surprisingly not scary or overwhelming, it was nice and calming just like coming home.

"I can't believe we are having this conversation finally after all these years. It's so nice to finally be able to speak freely with you about our connection. It always seemed like a Taboo subject since we've met." I said smiling.

"I knew it was coming, I've known for weeks. I knew it was going to happen this way. That everything would be laid on the table. Nothing that is being said is surprising at all." Killian responds and again I'm surprised (or maybe I'm not) by how much we really are on the same page. It was like he was reading my mind.

"I've known too. I had a feeling that after all these years we would finally not be around prying eyes and everything would come out. It's nice to talk about." I said.

"Are you going to be able to handle this intense conversation tomorrow when you wake up? Or are you going to act like this whole thing never happened?" I asked feeling bold but desperately wanting to know the truth. I didn't want to go back to closed off Killian, I liked open and honest Killian. I didn't want things to be awkward.

"Emma, I think if we could handle being alone in my room for ten minutes we can handle anything." He joked and I laughed.

"That was pretty intense." I agreed.

"So what now?" I asked showing my insecurities, "I can't lose you as my friend."

"You're not going to lose me as a friend. I will always be here for you." Killian says smiling.

"Are you even going to remember this conversation? You did forget our last intense one we had." I teased him.

"Yes I will remember every detail of this conversation. I'm only a little buzzed and I'm not doing shots of tequila so no worries." He says reassuring me.

"You know most people could never have a conversation at this level. I think it will be fun from now on because everything is out in the open." He adds.

"You think we will still have this connection at this conference every year? You think we will be able to sit down and openly discuss our feelings for one another each and every time?" I ask.

"Yes I do." He adds and I believe him. I also know he's right, we've been working on and off together for years now and even if we don't work together or see each other for very long lengths of time we always manage to come back together strong as ever.

"I think if things were different, we would work well together, because you know how I operate and I know how you operate, we've seen each other at our best and worst." Killian says sincerely.

"We certainly have seen that. You know all my dirty secrets." I say not wanting to reference August even if it is inevitable.

Killian nods and continues to look intensely at me.

"You know I always thought it shouldn't have been August, I always thought it should have been you." I say for some reason wanting to express this thought to Killian. It's something I had thought about for a while. If I was going to fuck my life up with anyone, it should have been Killian. It should have been with someone worth it. But I knew with Killian it would have always been something more. I had gotten hurt enough in the process, with Killian I probably would have never survived.

"I know I always thought the same thing." Killian replies.

"Are you happy?" I ask not wanting to waste anymore of my precious time with this man talking about August.

"It's not that I'm not happy, you are the only one who has ever been another option besides Milah for me." Killian replies.

Suddenly a random drunk girl appears in front of us. She staggering and smells like booze. She looks vaguely familiar even though we had never been properly introduced.

"Are you two fucking?" She asks us in front of our whole group. I guess I didn't think about the intensity of our eye contact and the fact that we were still surrounded by a ton of people in the bar. I hadn't paid attention to anyone surrounding us for quite some time.

We both laugh loudly and shake our heads. She temporarily breaks our connection and I tell Killian I am going to head to the bathroom.

Once inside the single bathroom I looked at myself in the mirror. I still looked the same as I did when I got on the plane this morning, but I knew a major part of my life had been altered. Yes I had fully expected Killian to get me to confess his threesome comment a year ago. Yes I had even excepted a conversation about our connection, but I never expected it to be so deep, so honest. I didn't regret it, I felt good about all the revelations, great in fact. However, what now? I knew we had no future. He made no indication that he was planning on leaving Milah and I was still wearing my engagement ring from Walsh. As rewarding as the long overdue conversation was I couldn't help but wonder what was the point? But did there have to be a point to every conversation? Did every intense conversation have to have a specific result? Could we ever just enjoy a great conversation and appreciate a deep connection with someone without having to take it a step farther? I didn't know the answers to these questions but I certainly wasn't going to get them standing in the bathroom staring at myself in the mirror.

I walk back to the booth a few minutes later and Killian meets my eyes. I see worry and uncertainty in his and I wonder briefly if he's regretting our conversation.

"Are you okay with all this? Because I am really good with it. It feels nice to have it all out there. No holding back." He says looking at me with genuine concern.

"I feel really good about this, there's been so many things left unsaid with us in the past and we beat around the bush so much it's nice to just be honest." I reply with a smile.

The overhead speakers announce the bar closing so we all head to the door to leave. We enter the hallway outside of the bar and the rest of the group says goodnight to Killian and I. I only see a few curious looks as we walk down the hallway together back towards our rooms.

"You sure you won't forget this conversation tomorrow drunky?" I tease wanting to lighten up the mood in the too quiet hallway.

"I'm not going to forget, I promise." He answers smiling.

"You're probably just going to avoid me the rest of the trip." I say needing to show him how important it is that he doesn't do just that.

"Emma, I'm not going to avoid you. We've come way too far for that." He says and I stop in front of the elevator that leads to my floor. Killian's elevator is further down the main hallway.

We stare at each other and I wonder if I should lean in to hug him. I hesitate because I know after such an intense conversation touching each other would probably be a bad idea.

Killian appears to draw the same conclusion and softly says goodnight as I step in the elevator. Our eyes are still intensely locked as the doors close. Once he's out of my sight I exhale loudly as the elevator begins to rise. I think to myself 'What the hell just happened?'

* * *

Pretty intense eh? This chapter gives us a lot more information to chew on between these two. I hope you all enjoyed it! Let me know what you think! I appreciate each and every one of you! Also fun fact: this is the longest chapter I've written in a LONG time! Next up: How does Killian react to Emma the next day?


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten: The Truth About One Night Stands**

 _I didn't know why I was nervous. I shouldn't be nervous. I had no fucking reason to be nervous. I was supposed to happy, ecstatic in fact. It was supposed to be the happiest time of my life. I had a new diamond ring on my finger, I should want to wave my hand around in the air and show everyone I saw._

 _To say I was surprised by Walsh's proposal the night before was a bit of an understatement. We had just gotten on solid ground. I was finally starting to feel a connection again. I had worked so hard to get everything back to normal but I sure didn't see that coming._

 _Even though his knee hadn't officially hit the snow covered ground (he didn't want to get it wet he said) his question had been straightforward. So when I saw him in front of me, my boyfriend of many years, asking me to spend the rest of my life with him I said yes. I even convinced myself to not feel guilty about how fucked up our relationship had been. We had went over his sister's house whom I loved and been thrown a mini-engagement party. I was happy. Wasn't I?_

 _However, the next morning early on Christmas Eve when I walked into work I didn't feel the elation, I didn't feel the happiness. I felt nervous. How was I going to tell Killian? Why should it even matter? I grew angry with myself. Why did I always have to ruin everything? Why couldn't I just let myself be happy? Why the fuck did it matter what Killian thought? Why did I want him to care? Was I really that messed up?_

 _I spent the first few hours of my shift quietly working the service desk. I usually loved working Christmas Eve, but this year I couldn't get the unsettled feeling out of my stomach. It wasn't caused by the awkwardness of working with August anymore since he had enlisted in the Navy and was long gone, it was because of the conversation I knew I had to have with Killian._

 _He was with Milah, we were just friends, it didn't matter what he thought. I kept telling myself these things._

 _About ten-thirty Killian walked up to the desk, it usually took him a few hours to wake up in the morning so we usually didn't exchange too many words before ten. Once he was fully awake and ready to talk he always came to find me._

" _How's it going?" He asked taking his normal place standing opposite of me with the service desk between us._

" _Good," I answered with a smile._

" _What's going on?" He asked, he always did know how to read me so damn well._

 _I paused for a moment and then decided to rip the band aid off the impending conversation._

" _Walsh proposed to me last night." I said showing him my hand that contained my diamond._

 _He looked down at the ring and then back up at my face._

" _Congratulations," he said appearing to be sincere. I don't know what I expected. Him to be mad? Him to tell me not to marry him? Him to storm off in a fit of rage? I was being insane and I knew it. It didn't matter to him that I was engaged I don't know why I was stupid enough to think it would and selfish enough to want it to._

 _We carried on the rest of the day as normal, however I couldn't help but sense the slight awkwardness between us. Killian didn't bring it up again, he didn't ask for details about the proposal or the future wedding, we actually didn't exchange another word about the whole ordeal. The day moved on as did time._

I woke up the next morning surprisingly not hung over just tired. I ate breakfast with Graham and Eric and maintained a light conversation about the day's upcoming events with them. Mental however my mind was wandering. Would Killian remember the conversation we had last night? Would he ignore me for the rest of the trip? Would he pretend nothing happened? Would he acknowledge something did happen? What the hell did I want him to do? Every single time I had fantasized about Killian (and I'll admit there had been a few) I never saw past the initial hookup. That sounds terrible to say but I never saw the reality of him leaving Milah for me. I never saw me actually breaking up my engagement with Walsh.

I saw him in passing a couple times in the morning but he was always conversing with someone else. A couple hours into classes we were on a quick break before the next session started when I heard his voice behind me.

"For the record, I remember the entire conversation we had last night." He said lowly behind me. I turned around and smiled. We held each other's grin for a moment before we got directed into the next session.

The rest of the day went smoothly. I tried to pay attention in the classes I really did but I couldn't help but mentally sort through the night before in my head, overanalyzing every word exchanged between the two of us and wondering how it was all affecting him. Was I being crazy? He probably wasn't even thinking about me during these classes. What had I gotten myself into?

Day turned into night and I didn't get any one on one time with Killian. That night was the big awards ceremony honoring the many successes and individuals who helped contribute immensely to the successful year we had in sales and growth. It was quite impressive to see the thousands of people sitting in the enormous room all working towards the same goals.

After the awards it was time for the reception (aka the drinks). I was surprised when Killian called me to meet up again. I couldn't believe after all the words that we had exchanged the night before and all the confessions we had made that he would still want to spend time with me.

I met up with Killian and a group of other managers from our region again. I was having a great time. I wasn't spending any of this night with a random drunk guy who was hitting on me, I was with my friends and my crush of years. Killian was drinking his beers much quicker and I knew there was no way I would be able to keep up with out ending up on the floor or making a complete ass out of myself so I kept a slower pace. I was enjoying getting to know other people from my region. People in our company were easy to talk to, we had many of the same struggles and issues so it was nice to vent to others.

The reception came to an end and we decided to go to the bar inside the hotel again. Killian was much more intoxicated tonight then he had been last night, therefore he was much more entertaining.

Killian and I are walking side by side into the bar when we spot Jeff from the night before.

Jeff had texted me a few times throughout the day but I hadn't responded.

"Let's fuck with this guy, let's make your boyfriend jealous" Killian said in my ear as we were walking.

Killian put his arm around me and lead me towards the dance floor which was in full swing already. I saw him maintain eye contact with Jeff as we walked by. I know Killian was just being buzzed and wanting to have a little fun but Killian and I weren't the type of friends who put their arms around each other. Being so close to him was extremely stressful because my nerves immediately stood on end, yet it felt natural between the two of us. I knew this was a contradiction but it was the truth. It was also stressful because having his arm around me made me want to live in the moment and throw everything else out the window. It made me not want to think about my career or my engagement, it made me just want to enjoy the closeness of him. All of which I knew was wrong.

Sure enough Jeff stormed away from us and Killian laughed. He kept his arm around me for a moment longer before we stopped on the edge of the dance floor where the rest of our friends were.

Just then the Cupid Shuffle comes on. Now I love to dance and I really love the Cupid Shuffle so I looked at Killian and nodded my head towards the dance floor. He nods his head in agreement and follows me to the dance floor.

"You must be drunk if you agreed to dance with me." I say to him as I start to show him the moves slowly.

"I'm not drunk, I'm just living in the moment and enjoying my life." He replies looking intensely at me.

I was having a blast, I was relaxed and enjoying myself for the first time in a long time. I didn't feel like anyone was judging me and I was dancing to one of my favorite songs. Killian maintained his distance but remained next to me the entire song. Once the song ended he excused himself to go to the bathroom.

As I walked off the dance floor I saw my friend Hap. He immediately walks up to me.

"Hey girl looking good," he says flirtatiously. He always joked around flirting with me, I knew it was harmless.

"How are you doing? No new victims?" I tease him.

"Not yet, are you offering?" He asked and although he knew I wouldn't accept, I'm sure he would make a move if I told him I was interested.

I laugh in return and send him a smile when a beer appears in front of my face.

"Drink up little girl," Killian says teasingly to me however his eyes are focused on Hap and his face maintains a serious expression. Hap and Killian were never friends but had always gotten along in the past. I see them lock eyes before Hap turns his attention back to me.

"Have fun Emma," he says with a wink before sauntering off no doubt looking for a woman who wasn't already occupied for the evening.

"Thanks," I say to Killian and take a long swig out of my beer. I couldn't help but feel like he had somehow claimed his territory with Hap. This thought thrilled and confused me.

The next hour passed quickly as we returned to our group of friends and soon the bar was closing. I turned towards the exit and Killian starts walking next to me again, he places his hand on my back and helps guide me out of the bar.

He then leans over and whispers, "I almost grabbed your ass."

I couldn't help but feel turned on by the comment but I forced myself to remain under control. He was clearly at least semi-intoxicated and last time he got drunk he suggested a threesome with me. Just because he was flirtatious with me when he drank didn't mean a damn thing in reality.

As we exit the bar everyone once again went their separate ways just like the night before. Killian says he wants to smoke before going to his room so we end up outside together.

"It's the curiosity that is the killer." Killian says once we are alone outside. It cool out now but not cold. It feels good on my skin after sweating inside the bar and on the dance floor.

"What do you mean?" I ask already pretty sure I knew the answer.

"Because I would love to see where this would go. You and me. How we would work. I think we would work well. We have such a strong emotional and physical connection. It's obvious to everyone, it always has been and I really don't care." He replies confirming everything I've been feeling.

"True, our chemistry is undeniable." I respond.

"I adore you Emma, I really do and if things were different…" He trails off.

"I know…but they aren't." I say stating the truth that we both know. Things weren't different. I had a fiancé and a wedding in three months and he had a girlfriend and a life outside of work. A life that didn't involve me. We had both built lives with different people. We had bought houses and made plans. Our connection was never intended to interfere with that. Just because we connected at a deep level didn't mean we were supposed to completely destroy the last eight years we had built in different relationships.

"Come on I'll walk you to your elevator." Killian says putting out his cigarette and opening the door for me. I couldn't help but feel a sense of foreboding as we walked down the hall together. We had said so much to each other over the past few days. How was I supposed to move on now? I felt good about our conversation, great in fact but what was the point of it?

As we approached my elevator I turned towards Killian and smiled.

"I had a blast the last few days Emma," he says sincerely.

"Me too." I agree wholeheartedly.

"No regrets?" He asks.

"No regrets." I confirm.

He leans forward and wraps both arms around me. I close my eyes and allow myself to enjoy his embrace. It's the first two armed hug he had ever given me. And yes I was crazy to know and acknowledge that fact, however it was still true.

I inhale his manly yet sexy smell before he pulls away. I see a swarm of emotions in his eyes as I step in the elevator.

"Good night." I say before the door closes.

The doors close and a weight of emotions crush me. I take my phone out of my pocket and texted Ruby, not knowing how to put my feelings into words I simply text: Oh fuck.

I felt frustrated and confused as the elevator rose to my floor. I couldn't help but start playing multiple 'what-if' situations in my head. Every endearing comment replayed through my head as I walked down the hall towards my room. I felt like this was my last chance to speak freely with Killian. We were going home tomorrow, back to reality. Back to Milah. Back to Walsh.

I unlock the door to my room and find my roommate passed out in bed. I knew I needed to drink some water if I didn't want to pay in the morning. I was nowhere near drunk but had certainly indulged in a quite a few beers. I took my phone out of my pocket and dialed Walsh. I had barely spoken to him the past two days, which I found odd. His phone went to voicemail. It appeared that the water in our room my roommate had drank so I was now waterless. I decided that this would be important to tell Killian so I texted him: Damnit I need water and I have none.

My phone rings and I'm surprised to find it's Killian not Walsh.

"Hello," I say and step into the hallway not wanting to wake up my roommate.

"You know you could always drink water from the faucet." He cheekily says on the other end of the phone.

I smile, "This is true but I want a bottle of water. I bet you have some. I'll just come to your room." I say making an innocent sounding suggestion however I knew a comment like that wasn't innocent between us.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Killian says.

"Why not? I'm just thirsty." I reply.

"Because Emma, I'm pretty sure you already know that I want to fuck the shit out of you. Hell if you came to my room now there wouldn't be enough hours for me to properly fuck you before class in the morning. However us having a one night stand wouldn't do either of us any good. We wouldn't be able to handle the guilt and the repercussions of sleeping together while we are both in relationships. Plus, one night would never be enough for me with you. So what good would one night do for either one of us? We would completely fuck both of our lives up for one night. Not saying it wouldn't be an amazing night because I have no doubt that it would be. However one night would never be enough." Killian says finally throwing everything on the line.

"I know, trust me I know you are right but this is it for me Killian. Next time we are here I will be married. This is the only time we will be alone before I am married. And I know that I probably couldn't go through with it and neither could you because it's not right but I can't help but think that this is our last opportunity. Nothing will be the same between us after I get married." I confess voicing all the fucked up emotions that were going on inside my head.

"If I didn't have morals I would in a second. But also like I said it's different with you and I, it couldn't just be one night. It would be one then two then four then eight and so on." Killian replies.

"I'll just come over and we can have a friendly sleepover then." I say trying to lighten the mood.

"You really think we could have a friendly sleepover?" Killian asks before adding, "because I don't have enough self-control and I don't think you do either."

I sigh out loud because I know he's right. My emotions are all a mess but I knew he was right.

"I'm sorry Killian, I really am." I say feeling bad for further complicating the situation and not just being able to let it go like we needed to.

"It's not that I don't want to, because I do, and don't apologize you didn't do anything wrong." He replies.

"Maybe one day when we are in our forties it'll just happen." He adds. That thought gives me hope but depresses me at the same time. We had come so far in a couple days. I felt that the last few days were anticlimactic now, however I knew Killian was right.

"Alright seeing as it's four in the morning and we have to be at class at seven, I suppose I will let you go." I say.

"Hey now, no regrets Emma. I don't regret a single moment of this weekend. Being able to come here and have fun with you and express our feelings to one another has been amazing. Don't go overanalyzing and beating yourself up about the situation. I feel good about us." He says again predicting me very well.

I agree and then we say our goodnights.

As I hang up the phone and head back into my room I don't think about the fact that my fiancé has been missing all night. I can't help but think that somehow me and Killian's opportunity had just passed us by.

* * *

Alright I know it's been a while, pretty intense chapter again! We are at the end of our two lovebirds time away together. What happens next when they are back to reality? Stay tuned! Also let me know what you think! I LOVE all the reviews, follows and favorites!


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: What Now?**

 _I hadn't seen Killian in almost eight months. He had left and given me nothing in return except silence. I didn't know if he was enjoying his new position as store manager or if he hated it. I didn't know if he was doing well or if he was ready to pull his hair out. I didn't know but I wanted to. Sure he had been in my store a couple times since he had gotten promoted to his own store, but he always just said hi in passing on his way to grab whatever he needed. He never sought me out or called me to check in and see how I was doing. It was almost as if I imagined our entire year-long friendship. I shouldn't have cared. Our relationship wasn't intended to mean anything. However, to me it did. Our lives had moved on and our paths no longer crossed. It happened all the time to people, it was a way of life, it should be normal._

 _That thought process is why I was surprised when Eric came up to me one day in the store and informed me that Killian needed help preparing his store for inventory and he had requested me to assist him._

 _Not wanting to reveal my true emotions I kept my face passive and told Eric it was no problem._

 _I had been to inventory preps before. Killian and I had done one together before. They were done overnight and they were quite long and tedious. Everything in the store had to be properly placed and organized, ready for the inventory team to scan it early the next morning. It wasn't rocket science, just time consuming._

 _Still eight hours overnight in a store with Killian excited me, even though it shouldn't have. Sure there would be other people there with us, but he had requested me to show up as well. That had to mean something right?_

 _When I showed up at his store a few days later I was filled with uncertainty and excitement. How would Killian act in this unfamiliar setting? Would our relationship maintain the same level of comfort or would time have thrown a dagger in the middle of it forcing me to finally be able to move on? My heart should realistically want the second option._

 _Once I walked in I immediately spotted Killian standing up front working on a computer with his back facing me. It allowed me a moment to take in his appearance before having to be on my game, prepared for anything._

 _He was still so handsome. He grew more classically handsome as time moved on. His facial features were chiseled like those of a hero in a historical romance novel, so clearly defined and prominent. He still made my heart accelerate and sprung nerves throughout my body._

 _He must have sensed my presence for he turned around and his eyes met mine. He immediately smiled and I swore his eyes twinkled with delight._

" _Hey Emma," he said casually and surprisingly walking up to me and embracing me with an one-armed hug. I smiled basking in our brief moment of contact._

" _How's it going big shot?" I asked unable to keep the huge grin off my face, it really was great to see him again._

" _Things are good, I'm trying to fix this store and make it more profitable, which unfortunately is taking quite a bit more time than I wanted it to. However, it's slowing moving in the right direction." He replied smiling still. I could tell he was proud. He really was born to lead in this environment._

" _How about you? What's new at the store?" He asked._

 _My mind briefly thought of August but I decided not to bring up our newly formed friendship._

" _Things are good, our soap opera still remains intact, although ratings are slightly down due to one of the main characters leaving for a different adventure." I teased him._

" _Maybe I should start my own spinoff." He joked back._

" _It wouldn't be as good as the original cast." I quickly responded._

 _He smiled again and said, "No it certainly wouldn't." His words contained what appeared to hold a stronger meaning then what was being discussed on the surface._

 _We paused our words but maintained eye contact for a few moments longer._

 _Soon we were interrupted by the rest of the prep crew and the work began. Killian gave me a tour of the store and spent quite a bit of time with me always working in the same area as I was. I was relieved that our connection was still present and hadn't appeared to have diminished in the slightest due to time or distance._

 _The night progressed one and Killian was his same self as he'd always been. He would tease me, occasionally throw a piece of stock at me or try to interrupt my counting. If I didn't know better I would say he was flirting with me. It was relaxing, we were surrounded by his new employees but I didn't know anyone. I broke out in my typical red blush from overstimulation and warmth. Killian was the one guy who always made my body react to him quite obviously. He never commented on it, but he had to see it appear on my skin every time he was around._

 _Killian walked off to go deal with a problem leaving me alone with one of his employees named John._

" _We've never seen Killian like this before," John said with a look of surprise._

" _Like what?" I asked busying myself with straightening the inventory in front of me._

" _Relaxed, joking around, having fun. He's usually so serious and focused on business." John said, not in an accusatory tone, just an observant one._

 _The rest of the night those words stuck in my head. Even after saying goodbye to Killian that night and not hearing from him again for months, those words provided me comfort in knowing that even at first glance our relationship was obviously special and I had an effect on him._

* * *

I didn't sleep much that night. My mind wouldn't stop. Every moment and every conversation from the last couple days kept replaying in my head. My mind wasn't filed with regret, I was grateful for all of our brutally honest conversations we had had. But where did it leave me? Where did it leave us? Nothing had changed in reality. We would still leave this town and carry on in our separate lives. Was simply knowing that we had an amazing connection and undeniable attraction enough? How would I move forward? How could I maintain everything the same as before? Before I knew his feelings were reciprocated, before I knew everything I ever thought about us wasn't just in my head, before I knew the truth. Now I knew the potential we had. Eight years of a relationship with my fiancé that I had fought for, been through hell and back for, verses a relationship lasting almost just as long that was deep and meaningful always teetering on the thin line between friendship and something more.

I knew the events of the past few days were going to fuck with me for a long time, if not forever. I had broken so many barriers, confessed so many things, and went down so many paths I never thought I would go down. There was no going back, and to be honest I didn't want to go back. I had enjoyed every single conversation, every topic, every joke and every intense look. I wouldn't have changed a thing, not one second or one confession. Because I wasn't confessing to a stranger, I was confessing to Killian, the man who had become a permanent fixture in my life, and I wasn't confessing anything we both didn't already know. I was thrilled because I hadn't imagined our whole relationship in my head, I wasn't like every other girl to him. I was different.

I stayed in bed as long as I possibly could before getting up and getting ready. I skipped breakfast, I couldn't manage to eat with so much going on in my head. I wanted to freeze time. I didn't want to move forward but I knew I couldn't go backwards.

I slowly got ready, experiencing more of an emotional hangover than an actual alcohol hangover. My fiancé was still missing, he hadn't returned any of my multiple phone calls. It should have bugged me more then it did but in reality it just annoyed me.

I walked into our last class session before the closing ceremony at seven on the nose. I easily found a seat next to Graham.

"Damn Emma are you okay?" Graham asked me as soon as I sat down. I knew I looked pretty worn out I just didn't think it was that obvious.

"Yea I'm fine, just tired and Walsh is missing." I replied.

"I looked for you at breakfast and even asked Killian if you were okay because I knew you two were hanging out." Graham said.

"What did Killian say?" I asked trying to appear nonchalant but secretly curious about what Killian's response about me would be.

"He said he thought you would be fine, but he hadn't seen you yet." Graham answered.

"Yea, I'm good just tired." I repeated again not wanting to explain all the drama in my head to him.

"Granola bar?" Eric asked sitting down in the chair on the other side of me.

"God, you're the best." I replied quickly accepting his offer.

The class began then. I looked around knowing there was no way I was going to actually listen to what was being said in this frame of mind. I saw Killian sitting a few rows ahead of me with his district. He didn't turn to face me and I again began to wonder if this would be the day he ignored me and carried on as if nothing happened. I decided to concentrate on myself and not worry about him.

The next few hours passed by quickly and before I knew it I found myself standing in the long security line at the airport. I hadn't spoken to Killian all morning. It wasn't that I was ignoring him, I was just dealing with all my emotions and trying to sort them out before going home and dealing with the aftermath.

I felt his eyes on me. I knew they were his without even turning around. I did my best to try to keep my composure but I'm sure he could tell I was dying inside.

I must have been pretty obvious because as soon as he was through security he walked up to me at the gate.

"Are you okay?" He asked concerned.

"I'm great," I replied sarcastically.

"Want to grab some lunch before we board? We have time." Killian asked softly and I looked into his eyes for the first time all day. For once I saw emotion evident there, I'm sure his mind was going a mile a minute as well.

"Sure," I agreed and we walked down to the food court right by our gate. We got our food in silence, separately and then sat down at a table together.

Now after the dramatic few days we had both just had together you would've thought sitting together at lunch would be awkward. That we would both feel regret or guilt for pouring our souls out to each other. However it didn't, it surprisingly felt comfortable even though we were both obviously emotionally drained. Walsh had finally called me before leaving the hotel and even though I played it off to all my other friends that that what was bugging me, honestly it was the furthest things from my mind.

"I don't regret anything," Killian said to me looking me dead in the eye.

"I don't either," I replied honestly.

"Hell I'm happy we are at this point, now we can joke and flirt for years to come." He said before biting into his sandwich.

I wasn't sure if flirting and joking was good enough for me. I didn't come all this way to be back at square one, but I didn't have a solution. I was going to be married in a few months and he was going to carry on with his life with Milah. This angered and saddened me. We would both carry on as if nothing had happened. We would return home to our significant others and time would march on. How was I going to deal with what had happened mentally? It was hard enough letting him go the first and the second time, I didn't know if I had the mental strength to do it again.

The rest of our brief lunch was spent discussing what we had learned at the conference that we could take back to our stores and other unimportant drama that had occurred at the conference with others. We boarded the plane and ended up sitting next to each other since we were flying Southwest and you could pick your seats. Killian distracted me with meaningless chatter on takeoff since I explained to him how nervous flying made me. Once we were settled in the air I knew we were flying back to reality. Flying away from our confessional, back to the prying eyes in our lives. Reality came crashing down as we drew closer and closer to home. Now I had to deal with the repercussions alone…or so I thought.

* * *

Well their trip is over! What happens now that they've returned to reality? The story will be wrapping up soon with a HUGE surprise at the end. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all the reviews and follows, again this story is very very very special to me so I appreciate all of your feedback. What did you think?


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve: Serendipity**

 _"Everyone has their fantasy, and you are mine." This is what you said to me._

 _The question that remains is: Now what? Sure I know we said everything will be fine and inevitably it will be but what now? We go back to the occasional talk here and there? It's not enough for me, it's never ever been enough. We can't go back, we have moved forward, so far forward it's ridiculous. And I know you're glad about it, and don't get me wrong I'm glad too but still what now? Things have been said, EVERYTHING is out in the open, and we are just supposed to walk away from it all and say "well we had some good times and great memories." I know it will be fine, it has to be, but that doesn't make me any less sad at this present moment. That doesn't make it any easier to let go then it did all those years ago. It's like I'm letting go every day, and then this happens. And it happens in a better way then I could have EVER EVER imagined. The amount of respect, attraction, and overall care and concern we have for one another is unbelievable. You don't find this kind of connection that often, someone that can look at you and have a full blown conversation with their eyes. Someone that will defend you and help you. Someone that believes in you more than you believe in yourself. Someone that doesn't mind being seen with you as a huge part of your life in front of all the other respectable individuals._

 _Who can have those types of conversations? Who can actually wrap their head around what is going on? My biggest fear is that we'll lose it, that it will be gone, but the fact that you have faith that 10 years from now it will be still there is reassuring yet scary. If we can hold on that long together, then why not just be together. Somehow this is the way that the universe has fucked me. By saying you made your bed lay in it, this must be what I deserve. But at the same time it's more than I could ever deserve. "You have to stop thinking you arn't good enough, because you are." You said to me. I have no choice now, the decision is made, it's been made. I have to move forward because of you, and I know that's a shitty thing to base the decision off of but it's true. You drive me. Maybe that's why you came into my life, not to cause me extra anxiety Mr. "Don't worry about me" but to force me to grow into what I can become. I have to start living it the way you believe in me. I have to go "balls out"._

 _It's funny that the few days we spent together have been like living in a totally different world. I was able to be myself, to everyone, take it or leave it. I was able to say things that had been circling my mind for years. It feels good, you are right about that. I feel like we are forever locked into this eternal connection forever. "Is this awkward?" You asked. No surprisingly not, with anyone else shit yea it would have been. So I guess I get to carry on with my life now, move forward, because while nothing happened, in a way everything did. Everything that I ever wanted to and the level I wanted to obtain, I obtained with you._

When I get upset I write. I write to let it all out. To try to find clarity (which usually never happens). I let out all my fears, my pain, occasionally my happiness. So it makes sense that a few days after being home this is what I was writing. These words are what I was pouring into my computer. Words I would never show Killian, but words that were directed at him, because of him. I wanted to document my feelings, I wanted to document the entire experience. To remember it all. To reflect.

Did it do me any good? Not concretely no, but it was still nice to let it all out, to see all my feelings written down on paper.

Walsh had been acting strange since I had gotten home. We had started fighting again. Fighting over the past, bringing up the torture and the pain we had put each other through. He said he went to the bar with his best friend the night he went missing and passed out without looking at his phone. I want to believe him, but my head is in so much turmoil right now I just don't know.

I haven't heard from Killian, not one word, not one text. I'm not surprised but it still hurts. I have to move on. I have to get over this, but how? There is no easy solution.

* * *

It's Friday morning, five days after returning home. I'm trying to be fine. Walsh and I are still on the rocks. Nothing is the same, everything has changed in a week.

"Emma, you have a phone call," I hear paged over the speaker in my store. I am currently sitting at my desk in my office, pretending to be busy since my boss has decided to grace me with his presence today again.

I pick up the phone and give my upbeat completely scripted greeting and then wait to see who's on the other end of the line.

"You have mind fucked me." The voice says. I immediately sit up straighter in my desk chair.

"Killian?" I ask even though I know it's him.

"I wanted to call yesterday but I knew your boss was there helping you prepare for your inventory, and even though I know he's there today too I couldn't wait any longer to call you. I've been trying to think of reasons to get you to come out to one of my stores, how bad is that?" Killian replies uncharacteristically rambling.

"The past few days have been tough." I reply relieved to know I'm not the only one who's been struggling and thrilled that he's been thinking of me too.

"I just don't care anymore. The past few days I've been out of my normal, I'm not usually this open, I'm never this distracted. I can't get you off of my mind." He replies and my heart begins to race at his words.

"I'm wondering now if it would have been any worse if we had just had sex, I know it would be, but my gut really not caring." He continues on.

He's never been this honest before, he's always so good at hiding his emotions. I don't know what to think, I'm not sure what to do.

"Walsh and I have been fighting, my whole world has turned upside down." I respond desperately wanting him to understand that I am going crazy as well.

"I want to get married and have kids, I just don't know if I want it with her anymore." He says and I know he's talking about Milah.

"I don't know what to do Killian." I respond honestly.

"I can see it working out between us as crazy as that sounds." He says.

"It's not crazy, I can see it too." I agree.

"It's the curiosity that's the killer. My life was on a path I didn't think would change but now you've come into the equation and it's thrown me all off. Thinking of our future, of what could be between us, it's killing me." He says exasperation evident in his voice.

"I know Killian, it's killing me too. Although you did reject me." I say teasingly trying to lighten the mood.

"I didn't reject you!" He exclaimed before continuing, "trust me not spending the night with you was a very hard thing to turn down. But if we do this I want to do it right."

"I know, I'm almost over the rejection completely," I reply continuing my sarcasm.

"Don't take it as rejection, but don't wait for me either. I don't want to fuck up your life. You have plans and I don't want you to break them for me. Not if that's what you really want. I don't want to cause you any more pain." Killian says softly.

"I appreciate that, I'm just so confused right now." I reply.

"Hey if it's meant to be it will happen, and I'm starting to think that it might actually happen." Killian says. I can't believe the seriousness of his words. Is this real life right now? My head is reeling.

"I still don't regret it. I wouldn't trade last weekend for anything in the world. I love our connection and our relationship." He says continuing to say all the things I always dreamed he would say but never actually imagined he would.

"I don't regret it either, not one second." I reply finally finding my voice.

"I'm going to be thinking about it all weekend, it's going to be tough not talking to you all weekend." He says, and I know what he means. Until we figure out what we are going to do we can't call each other multiple times a day while we are at home. We need this time to reflect. To think about our feelings, our relationships and what we were going to do.

"It'll be tough on me too, but maybe it'll be good and shine some light on our situations." I said trying to remain positive.

I hung up the phone a moment later after saying a brief goodbye feeling more uncertain then ever.

Killian Jones, the one man who is always composed, always in control of his emotions, never showing weakness, is wrecked by me.

There was still no solution made. He didn't say he wanted to be with me. He didn't say that he was throwing away his relationship and the life he's made for himself for me. But at least I knew I wasn't alone. That I wasn't the only one who was affected by the events of the previous weekend. Knowing all of this was oddly comforting.

* * *

A few days later it was Valentine's Day. My weekend was spent going through the motions with Walsh. You would think that this would be a huge red flag for me. I wasn't a girl who went through the motions with a guy. I was a strong independent woman right? So why was I living my life this way? Security? Comfort? Sure I cared about Walsh, there was no denying that. We had made it through so much and built a life together. We had a house together, our friends were friends, our families were family, we had put down deposits on a wedding which we had planned together. Was I really going to jeopardize all that for uncertainty? For a relationship that has never actually been a relationship? For a man I had never even kissed?

Valentine's Day evening I'm sitting home alone on the couch. Walsh is downstairs watching TV while I'm upstairs watching TV. I'm sitting there, lost in my thoughts when I get a text. I look at my phone and read what it says, it only says three words:

 _Serendipity is on_

It's from Killian of course. I flip through my TV guide and turn the movie on. I've seen this movie many times. It's always been one of my favorites, but watching it now while Killian is watching it too brings the movie to a whole new level.

The movie is a love story about two characters Jonathan and Sara who have an instant connection but are separated, leaving the future of pursuing a relationship up to chance. Both of them are already on two completely separate paths. As times moves on both of them are involved in relationships with other people, Jonathan gets ready to get married while Sara has a longtime serious boyfriend who proposes as well. But this deep connection they feel for one another neither of them can shake. Years later they are still hung up on this connection. All they needed was a brief encounter, a few moments in time to affect each other's worlds.

" _You don't have to understand. You just have to have faith." Sara says._

" _Faith in what?" Jonathan asks._

" _Destiny."_

As I watch the movie again there are so many parallels. Serendipity is explained as meaning a fortunate accident.

" _Well if we're meant to meet again, we'll meet again. It's just not the right time now." Sara says._

As I watch these two characters come together in the end, against all odds, against all plans, who come together because of destiny, I can't help but wonder if this is how me and Killian's story will end too.

* * *

Wellllllll I loved writing this chapter! And now you know how the title of the story came into play. Obviously the quotes are from the movie Serendipity, which really is one of my favorite movies! We are coming to a close folks and to the big surprise at the end of the story! Two (maybe three) more chapters are left and that's it! Again let me know what you think. I REALLY hope you are all enjoying this story as much as I love writing it. Let me know! Thanks for everything!


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen: Worth It**

"I'm breaking up with Milah for you." Killian's voice says to me on the other end of the line. If I wasn't driving I probably would have dropped my phone. Instead my mouth dropped open.

It was the day after Valentine's Day. Walsh and I had gotten into another fight the night before so I had decided to visit him at work that evening. I brought him some food and we tried to get along, tried to get our relationship back to where it used to be. We were both hurting, which made the experience slightly awkward. I hadn't told him about Killian, hell with all our past drama I didn't ever want to tell him, but with everything ramping up I was thinking I may have to. Sure, Killian and I hadn't even kissed but emotionally I was a mess.

I had just left Walsh's work when Killian called me. I felt excited to talk to him, I was happy he was calling. I couldn't help it, I just was. I picked up the phone and was in shock at the first words out of his mouth.

"Wh-what?" I managed to stutter out after his shocking revelation.

"I'm leaving her, I can't do this anymore. I'm not happy." He replied calmly.

"Are you doing this for me?" I asked scared of his answer. I didn't want to be the cause of an eight year long relationship falling apart.

"Emma, as much as I would love to say no, the truth is yes. I am doing this for you. I want to be with you." He answered.

I was speechless. For the first time ever I didn't know what to say to Killian Jones.

"I don't know what to say," I replied honestly.

"I'm not telling you that you have to break off your wedding to be with me. I'm just telling you what I'm doing. Even if this somehow shockingly doesn't work out between us, I still know that this is the right decision." He said confidently.

"Have you told her yet?" I asked.

"No, I'm on my way to talk to her now. I just wanted to tell you first." He answered.

I finally snapped back to reality and realized I had passed my exit a long time ago because I was so distracted.

"Fuck," I said out loud "I missed my exit."

Killian chuckled softly in return.

"Look how frazzled you have me," I teased.

We hung up shortly after. Killian promised to call the next morning when I was at work to let me know how his breakup went.

When I finally made it to my house Walsh was annoyed and didn't understand what took so long for me to get home since he was driving home at the same time from the same location. I told him I missed my exit accidently and he shot me a disbelieving look. I'm not sure how I responded after that since my racing thoughts were currently taking over my life.

He was leaving Milah. He wanted to be with me. I couldn't believe it. He had finally said the words I never in a million years thought he would say. The words that were both a blessing and a curse. I had done it. I had cut down his thick walls and gotten under his skin. I affected him enough to change his whole life, to alter his entire future. He was doing all of this…for me. It was mind-boggling. It was unbelievable. How could I have affected a man so confident and put together? The bigger question now however was: What was I going to do about it?

* * *

Two days later I had made up my mind. Killian had come to visit me at work the day after breaking up with Milah to tell me the whole story and how everything went down. To say she took it terribly was a severe understatement. I knew it was tough for him but he seemed okay. He wasn't pressuring me to act, which I appreciated. He knew I was pondering my decision.

However before he left he moved a strand of hair away from my face and set my body aflame with butterflies. I knew I had to make a decision. I knew I wanted to explore my relationship with Killian further, I knew I couldn't sit around anymore and do nothing. I knew I couldn't let this opportunity pass me by. Most importantly I knew that I had to tell Walsh the truth.

So Thursday evening, two days after Killian's break up with Milah I sat on my living room couch waiting for Walsh to get home. I was super nervous but I knew I had to do this. I knew Walsh deserved to know the truth about everything.

Walsh walked in the door and our eyes met.

"We need to talk," I said saying the four words every person hates to hear in a relationship.

He nodded and sat down next to me.

I opened my mouth and everything came out. The truth about August, my feelings for Killian, how unappreciated I had felt for years. Even as I saw him visually get upset I couldn't stop talking, I knew I had to get every last dirty secret out. As terrible as I felt about the situation it felt good to finally let it all out. It had been years since Walsh and I had been completely honest with each other. I had harbored guilt for years every time I was in his presence. Even though impending doom was settling over us, at the same time I felt relieved.

After I was done (two hours later) I knew I had to go. I actually had to go back to work to prepare my store for inventory. I didn't have a choice in going back, but I also needed some space.

"Where does this leave us Emma? I still want to try. I still want to be with you. I still love you." Walsh pleaded as I stood up.

"I'm not sure," I replied honestly.

"Please don't go," he said and my heart broke even more for us in that moment.

"I have to," I replied, "I'll be back in a couple of hours."

I felt terrible honestly, I knew it wasn't fair of me to drop years worth of bombshells on him and then bail, however I really did have to be to work soon and I needed to leave our house.

A few minutes I got in my car and let out a long exhale. I couldn't believe I had actually done it. I had finally faced the truth and acted on it. I immediately picked up the phone and called Killian as I drove towards my store.

"I told him everything," I said when he picked up the phone.

"Everything?" He asked.

"Yes, everything. All about August, about my feelings for you, about how messed up our relationship has been for a really long time. I told him everything." I said slightly rambling.

"Where are you?" He asked.

"On my way to my store, I have to prep for inventory tonight. I have to get all those pre-inventory counts done. I've been so distracted and mentally fucked up that I'm way behind, I have to get them done." I replied.

"I'm right by your store, meet me at the McDonalds before you go in." Killian replied, and I shouldn't have been surprised that he was near my store even though he didn't live nearby. He knew I had to go back in though since I had told him earlier. The fact that he was still randomly in the area spoke volumes to me.

I agreed and we hung up. I was glad he was close because I had to see him. Every ounce of my soul was dying to be near him after the conversation I had just had with Walsh.

Moments later I pulled into the McDonalds parking lot. I got out of my car and opened his passenger side door of his truck. I climbed in and looked at him.

"I'm in love with you," he said the moment the door closed behind me.

"I'm in love with you too," I replied automatically not even thinking about my response but knowing that every word was true. I couldn't believe it, but at the same time it was so us. We were also so in tune with each other. We hadn't even kissed yet but we were ready to admit that we were in love with each other.

My heart was racing as I stared at him. My emotions were still all over the place but I knew that Killian calmed me, I relaxed in his presence, I felt safe. I had probably been in love with him for years but too scared and stubborn to admit it.

Then he leaned forward quickly and completely taking me off guard, he kissed me.

'Finally!' My brain screamed. It took me a few seconds to react because I wasn't ready for it. I shouldn't have been surprised though, we had just admitted to being in love with each other it was only natural that we would kiss right after.

I knew that moment that every second of the last six years since I had first been introduced to Killian leading up to this moment was worth it. Every conversation, every argument, every heated glance, every laugh, every single encounter we had was worth it. Every moment of drama and guilt with August, every good time and bad time with Walsh, every tear I shed and every frustrated moment I had endured was 100% worth it, because I was finally kissing Killian Jones.

* * *

 _Almost done folks, still a chapter or two to wrap it up, including my BIG surprise! What do you guys think of this story? Good or bad I want to know! Thanks again for all the support and reviews, you all are amazing! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! Let me know 3_


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen: Soulmates, and Serendipity**

The following days after our professions of love were dramatic. That was to be expected though. Everything was changing. Everything was different now. Nothing was the same as it was two weeks ago.

Two days after our first kiss and declarations of love Killian was at my store helping me prepare for inventory. The last two days Walsh had spent trying to convince me that we deserved another chance, he kept telling me not to throw away our eight year relationship for uncertainty. I told him that Killian and I had kissed. I told him that I had strong feelings for him, but he still didn't want to let us go. It put me in a tough position, I knew I had to make a decision and quickly.

Killian and I were busy organizing the backroom when Walsh walked in. Killian and I had remained professional all day in the store since my employees were working. If they thought it was weird that another district manager was in our store helping out they didn't let on. Killian just wanted to be near me he said, plus he knew I needed the help.

As we were working in the back room Walsh walked in with flowers and chocolates for me. Upon seeing Killian he immediately turned around and stormed out of the store. Not that I could blame him, I really did feel bad about putting him through this pain, but I was so involved in my own mental mess I couldn't even take a minute to catch my breath.

Killian told me he was going to go talk to Walsh. I didn't think it was a good idea but he insisted he needed to talk to him 'man to man'. Walsh was sitting in his truck when Killian walked out. I nervously watched them exchange words at Walsh's car window. A few minutes later I saw another car pull up and my mom got out.

Up to this point I had kept my family mostly in the dark about what was going on. It wasn't that I didn't trust them; I just didn't want to involve them in the drama until I had made a concrete decision. However my mother could read me well and knew when something was wrong so of course she decided to come up to my store to check on me. I bet she didn't expect to see Walsh and Killian both in the parking lot.

Now my employees were getting slightly suspicious of all the people in the parking lot that were connected to me. I decided I needed to go out and clear the air. My mom introduced herself to Killian for the first time and then I convinced her to leave and I would talk to her later. Walsh handed me my flowers and candy through his truck window without a word and quickly left the parking lot. I stood with Killian in the lot trying to grasp what had happened.

Killian then told me that he had told Walsh he wasn't trying to destroy our lives and come between us, that we just had always had a connection. Not surprisingly Walsh didn't take the conversation well. I told Killian I needed to go home and make a decision about what I was going to do with Walsh, he left shortly later and I made my way home.

When I walked into our house an hour later I found it destroyed. All of the pictures were taken off the walls and smashed on the floor. I walked up the stairs and found Walsh curled up on our bed crying. My heart broke for him, it broke for us. I never intended for any of this to happen. I didn't set out to hurt him.

"I'm going to end up alone with our dog," he said bitterly, "unless you take her from me too."

I sit down next to him. I look at the man whom I've spent the last eight years with. A man I was with through college, a man who I lost my virginity to, and a man who I experienced years' worth of ups and downs with. Maybe I did owe him one more shot? That was probably only fair.

"Let's go away tonight," I said forcing myself to not think any longer on the topic.

"Let's go downtown and stay in a nice hotel and go to that fancy restaurant I've been dying to go to. Let's go." I continued.

"Really?" He asks me, and I nod in return.

So we get in the car and drive downtown after packing a quick bag. I text Killian briefly and tell him I was going away for the night with Walsh to help make a final decision. I told him I wasn't going to text him or contact him until I made a choice. I told him that I owed Walsh at least a night to try to make it right.

On the half-hour drive downtown Walsh and I don't discuss our problems, we don't discuss the wedding or the future. We try to live in the moment.

We get to the hotel and check-in. We go up to the room and Walsh starts to kiss me. However, it becomes very evident quite quickly that we both weren't feeling very sexy at the moment.

"Let's just go to dinner," he says clearly disappointed and frustrated at our current lack of sexual connection.

Our dinner location is on the eighty-first floor of the tallest building downtown, it overlooks the river. We take the glass elevator up enjoying the view of the city lights around us. It's cold but I am wearing a dress trying to be fancy for the occasion.

We reach the hostess stand and the hostess informs us that the restaurant is fully booked for the night. All I can think is: serendipity.

I've wanted to come to this restaurant for the last eight years with Walsh but he would never take me. Now we finally got to the restaurant and fate wouldn't let us in.

As we rode the elevator down I knew it was over. I knew I couldn't pretend to move this relationship forward anymore. I knew that even though I loved Walsh, we weren't destined to be together. We had too much baggage, too much drama. Even if we worked things out I would always carry around a guilt with me. I had been living with guilt for the last few years I knew I didn't want to wake up that way for the rest of our lives.

We go to dinner in the hotel and after ordering drinks with tears in his eyes Walsh looks at me and says, "It's over isn't it?"

I look back at him my own eyes blurring over and don't know what to say. I didn't want to break his heart, but we can't help who we love. We can't help when the past completely fucks up our future. Sometimes we go so far down a road that we can't go back. We can't go back to the past. We can't go back to a time when things are different. Things change, life changes us.

After dinner we go to the room and lay down on opposite sides of the king sized bed. I stare at the ceiling wondering when my life will slow down again.

"I can't do this; I can't lie next to you and pretend we are fine. I want to go home. Let's leave." Walsh says and immediately stands up and grabs his stuff. I follow suit and leave the hotel room with him without a word.

The drive home is awkward to say the least. 'Free and Easy (Down the Road I go)' by Dierks Bentley is playing on the radio and i find the song strangely appropriate even though there is nothing easy about this situation.

I pull up to our house and Walsh goes to get out of the car.

"Please come in, please sleep here tonight." He says practically begging me.

"I'm going to go sleep at my parents, give us both some space." I reply even though we both know that's a lie.

He realizes that there's no point in pushing me on the subject so he gets out of the car. As I drive away I see him in the rearview mirror and even though I feel like shit about breaking his heart, I know it's the right decision. As I turn off our street I immediately pick up the phone and call Killian. I was ready to start my future.

* * *

Saying everything fell into place easily after that night would be a lie. Saying that all the drama was worth it, that would be the truth. My family and friends were furious. They were confused. They didn't see the break-up coming. They didn't understand why I never informed them that Walsh and I had issues. They were hurt that I didn't come and talk to them about our problems. I had to explain to them that it wasn't that I didn't trust them or value their opinions, I just didn't want to hear their opinions. I had to make this life-changing decision for myself. I didn't want someone to try to sway my opinion one way or another. I had to choose without outside influence. I had to choose with my heart. I had to be selfish and make the decision that was right for me, not for anyone else.

How do I know all of this to be true you ask? How do I know the emotions that were felt deep into my soul? Because my friends, my loyal readers out there, this story, this multi-chapter tale is a true story. It's my story. It's the love story of me and my Killian. That's why this story has been so important to me, because every word of it is true, because I lived it.

I told my Killian right away a few weeks after we got together that our story was written like a romance novel. That the way we got together was like it was straight out of a book. So I wanted to write it down. I obviously needed to change the names but everything else was the truth.

I lived this story. I left my fiancé after a work trip to follow my heart. I changed my entire life three months before my wedding. Not a soul saw it coming, not even me. So what happened? You want to know the answer right?

We lived happily ever after of course. Not every day is easy or a fairytale naturally. We fight, we struggle sometimes. I know I'm not always the easiest person to be with and 'Killian' isn't perfect either. However, through our fights and through our tough days I have NEVER, not once, regretted my decision. We completely blew up our lives to be together. We went against all odds. Hell we had to live in a hotel room for two weeks until 'Milah' moved out of his house. If going against everything you know and changing every single aspect of your life isn't love I don't know what is.

Ten months later when 'Killian' proposed to me I didn't hesitate to say yes. Sure I was the girl who wore two different engagement rings in the same calendar year but with Killian it wasn't a deadline. It didn't feel like my life was ending while planning our wedding. The alter where we were wed was a beginning, not an end.

In June of this year, 2017 we will have been married for five years. Our family and friends all came around and now years later couldn't believe they didn't see how wrong 'Walsh' was for me. They always comment about how much happier I am with 'Killian'. Not that 'Walsh' is a bad person. I ended up giving him our house and he came to terms with the breakup saying he knew he was at fault too. He's actually married now and just had his first child. No we don't hang out or talk ever but I'm glad to hear he's doing well.

I didn't wake up one day and decide to destroy my life and wreak havoc on my significant other.

If you want my Killian's point of view here's what he says: _"Discovering one's soulmate in life everyone has one moment. One moment where they met one special person that can change their life forever. Most people don't recognize that moment for what is it. They take the moment, when all is aligned in the world and accept it as something else. They take it for granted. Most people take that moment for granted because it's usually accompanied by change, or unusual circumstances. During these changes is when I first disregarded my soulmate._

 _I walked into the door full of a whole new group of people. But with these changes I began to realize what each person had to offer. And out of all these people, one of them had everything. At first glance there was just physical attraction, but as our time together grew I realized there was a lot more. I realized that this person was the first person that allowed me to be myself. I could look into her face and I could look into her eyes, and I knew we were connected. Connected in a way that only destiny creates._

 _The connection was like a seed that was planted in my soul. This seed grew every day. Every day I would look at her face and talk to her and the seed would continue to develop. I had the most intense conversations, the most open thoughts and opinions with this woman and I didn't worry about her judging me or being critical. She was open and caring. She responded to the needs of my mind. This seed in my soul was beginning to sprout. This woman started to become more and more to me. She was my focus, my drive, my motivation. I knew that I needed her in my life, I needed her approval, friendship, care and most of all I wanted her love. I wanted to know more and more every day. I cared about how she felt. I became angry, irritated and frustrated when all things were not right in her world and I couldn't change them. The stem of this seed continued to grow. She had become my partner, my ally, and my friend. She knew what made me tick; she knew what I was thinking and why I was thinking it."_

I say it was Serendipity, a fortunate accident that 'Killian' and I developed the relationship we had and both had the courage to change our lives. Our family members say we were brave, I simply say we were destined.

I hope I did the story justice. Living it is much different then writing it, but I want to always remember our story. I want to remember every little moment, remember when life was so uncertain, remember when I met 'Killian', never knowing the impact he was going to have on my life. I want to remember the butterflies, the confessions, and the undeniable chemistry. When I'm old I want to share our story with our children and our grandchildren. Show them the romantic way we came together. Show them how our relationship developed over time. I really didn't predict us ending up together all those years ago, now I can't imagine my life without him.

No matter what I write in the future, this story will always be the most important story to me. Thank you for allowing me to tell it and share it with all of you wonderful people. It really means the world to me.

So I leave you with this, emotions I wrote word for word six years ago when I made my decision to be with Killian:

 _I can't tell you the exact day we met or the exact time. He didn't step out of a rainbow and into my arms. He simply walked in the door and into my life. We didn't have a clue then how far life would take us. We didn't have a hint that the two of us would connect on the deepest level possible. Sure there was attraction, but I could have said that about a lot of people at the time. When I looked into his eyes for the first time I didn't see the journey we were destined to travel. I didn't feel the emotions we were going to eventually feel. I couldn't have possibly known he was the other half to make me whole._

 _I never knew what soulmate meant until I met you. It didn't happen overnight. I didn't wake up one day, see him standing there and say "That's my soulmate." It happened over time, growing and building slowly into something more, into everything. It wasn't easy. Most people think once you find 'the one' that it's simple. But it's not, you have to fight like hell, you have to work at it. You have to get pissed off; you have to experience every single emotion in order to truly understand it. Sure the relationship is easy, it's natural, effortless. But it's not easy. I was on a totally different path, with a totally different future. I never knew what soulmate meant until I met you._


End file.
